Q: My mother told me recently that she has been having panic attacks for the past couple years, more than usual.
Apparently, she had the occasional panic attack when she was a young woman having babies, but they subsided until recently.
She dates them shortly after Dad died.
How should we support her?
A: Firstly, I commend you for sitting down and listening to your mom as carefully as you obviously have. That is great.
One of the big problems we have with people who are struggling with panic attacks is that they are often too embarrassed to tell anyone.
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What is sad is that they needlessly suffer in silence. Our professional community can help people see their way through panic attacks once those people have been identified and supported.
I think that it is important that you make your mom an appointment with her family doctor as quickly as she can.
Elderly people victimized by panic attacks often have a lengthy history of panic attacks dating back to when they were adolescents or young adults.
Your mom said she had the occasional panic attack when she was younger but she did not say what she meant by occasional.
Your mom’s doctor needs to get a better read on your mom’s personal history with panic attacks to better understand what is going on.
If your mom only had a very rare panic attack, then she and her physician need to start searching for something other than the death of your father for probable causes.
She could be struggling with a serious disorder that seems to come to some people as they age.
Once everyone has figured things out, the physician can refer your mom to either more specialized medical care if needed, or to more social psychological intervention to help her resolve outstanding personal issues.
If you happen to be with your mom when she is either just having or just finishing a panic attack, you can best help her by encouraging her to settle down and to practise some deep breathing.
Don’t be afraid of it. People do not die from panic attacks, and that is the irony. If your mom is having a panic attack, she is most likely afraid that something catastrophic is happening to her. But she won’t die, and the sooner she can get a little more oxygen floating throughout her system, the sooner she will settle down. The dizziness evaporates and the fears subside.
Knowing that you are with her, supporting her, is the magic she needs to restore her confidence in her own well-being.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan. Contact: jandrews@producer.com.
