Q: After seven and a half years together my wife and I finally sat down the other day to figure out our finances.
It got to be a little bit scary. I do not think that either of us was ever aware of how much we have been spending.
We would not know any of that even now had not the credit union turned us down when we applied for a mortgage to buy a house.
I thought that between the two of us, my wife and I had a pretty good combined income and that we would be a “shoo in” for a mortgage approval. So did the manager of the credit union. But he also had our credit ratings and that was the death knell to our mortgage application.
Read Also
AgriStability updates offer stronger support for farmers
One of the most significant updates to the AgriStability program for the 2025 program year is the increase in the compensation rate.
Apparently, we owe too much money for what we earn. We owe all of this money because we are caught up in impulsive buying. Our credit union manager was trying to be encouraging. He said that if we work with him to get our finances in order, he will help us reapply for a home mortgage in the not too distant future.
We just need to get our impulsive spending under control and everything else should be in place.
So what do we do now?
A: I hope that you understand that impulse buying is almost a universal phenomena. Most of us have been prone to it at some time, and that might even be more so now that we can impulsively fire up our computers and in the space of a very few seconds buy just about anything online.
Unfortunately, being universal does not make it right, or even good for that matter. On the contrary, the stress load being shared by those millions of Canadian homes that are carrying too much of a debt load is distracting from the moment of tranquility all of us would love to share.
It is ironic, isn’t it? We impulsively spend money so that we will feel better about ourselves but in the process of trying to feel better we create even more stress and ultimately feel the worse for it. We need to do something about it.
Impulsive buying is what we do when we go about purchasing just about anything without actually sitting down with pencil and paper and working out a strategy for fulfilling our dreams. We might not buy a new sweater if we thought about all of that which is cluttering up our closets, figured out how much money we have to spend on even more stuff, and checked the stores to see what is available for our budgets. But we will buy that same sweater if we believe that buying it will in some way make us happier. That is what impulse buying does, doesn’t it?
It takes that distress hiding in our personal closets and covers it, or masks it, a bit with a that little bit of adrenalin we get when we purchase something.
Your first task to get on top of impulse buying is for you and your wife to have those daily chats that can only lead to more personal satisfaction between the two or you.
If you are struggling with each other, talk it out, work it out, resolve it as best you can, and feel proud for the effort you have made. If you are feeling great, celebrate with each other. The better that both of you feel the less likely it is that each of you will continue to impulsively haunt those dreaded retail outlets.
When you are in the process of buying something, take your time. In fact you can take a break. Don’t fire up your computer right away. Have a glass of orange juice, contemplate the universe, and then figure out if you really need the thing you are thinking about buying and how much you can afford to spend on it.
This is the long run approach to life. It is hard and it is frustrating. Doing it the right way does not give you the excitement you got from the adrenalin of impulse buying but, over the long run, and especially as your accounts start to accumulate surpluses, your overall good feeling about yourself exhilarates your self-esteem.
Besides that, you will qualify for the mortgage you want to finance your new home.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan. Contact: jandrews@producer.com.
