Becky fell into the role of caregiver by happenstance. An elderly neighbour needed support and Becky was readily there to pick up the mail, bring a few groceries and drop by for a cheery check-in.
Her fiercely independent neighbour sometimes viewed Becky’s help as intrusive.
“When you just go ahead and cut my lawn without asking, you take away my power.”
So Becky asked before doing something. Sometimes help was refused.
The neighbour had family: some were away and others were busy.
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The two neighbours shopped together, and often went out for lunch or for a drive in the country that brought back memories of who used to live where.
As the neighbour’s health deteriorated, Becky kept close watch on the house lights and and an eye out for strangers. Through time, the older woman and the younger developed a special bond of friendship.
Becky’s friend moved to the lodge and her needs changed, but their close relationship continued and a variety of tasks were shared.
Eventually, when the flicker of life went out, the family invited Becky’s input regarding final arrangements and mementos she might appreciate. They valued her devotion and commitment.
But within weeks, when Becky was no longer a caregiver, she lost her connection with the extended family. Her task was done. The bond was broken. It was a lonely withdrawal, for no one thought about her feelings of emptiness and grief.
It is important to remember the caregivers within our community and acknowledge the unique ways they share of themselves.
Joyce Sasse writes for the Canadian Rural Church Network at www.canadianruralchurch.net.
