‘Twas three days before Christmas and all through the House, not a creature was stirring, not even a louse.
The MPs were absent but hot on the trail, campaigning with vigour and avoiding jail.
Sinc Harrison was nestled all snug in his bed, while visions of hopper cars danced in his head.
And Ralph with his budget and Paul with his bribes, had just started reading electorate vibes.
When out on the land there arose such a clatter; farmers sprang from their beds to see what was the matter.
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Out in the snow was a sight near sublime: a sleigh bearing Calvert and Doer and Klein.
And pulling that sleigh was a surprising crew, of Wartman and Wowchuk and young Horner too.
They seemed rather sheepish all locked in the traces, and looks of contrition were etched on their faces.
“We’re sorry for doing so little to please, our farmers; and that’s why we’re here to appease.
“Now flooding! Now R-CALF! Now CAIS and bird flu! Now trade fights! Now anthrax! Now debt of all hues!
“They’re a thing of the past, that’s right, now hear us call, they’re dashed away, dashed away, dashed away all!”
Up to the housetop those ministers flew, with a sleigh light on trouble and three premiers too.
Farmers didn’t believe it; they’d all been around; then Klein shot down the chimney, with an ungodly sound.
He was covered in money, his head to his toes. His nose was a ripe shade of purple and rose.
A bundle of cheques he had flung on his back, and he looked like a pedlar just opening his pack.
He handed it out to all farmers on hand, no matter the site or description of land.
Then laying a finger inside of his nose, and giving a belch, up the chimney he rose.
The farmers were pleased with this rich yuletide bounty, (though still they withheld taxes owed to the county!)
They pondered the past year and all it had brought, the glad things and bad things and all battles fought.
With the power of finance they formed a huge lobby, and forced Ottawa to see farms aren’t a hobby.
The sleigh full of premiers equipped with devices, flew off to improve all commodity prices.
Farmers heard them exclaim as they drove out of sight: “Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night.”
