If you’d like to increase milk production in a dairy herd, there is apparently a no-cost way to do it. So indicates a recently released study reported in Anthrazoos, a British journal dedicated to the interactions of animals and people.
Scientists at Britain’s Newcastle University found that giving cows a name can increase individual animals’ milk production by 285 litres per year. (More details were reported on page 22 of our Feb. 5 issue.)
Of course, it’s not quite that simple.
Lead scientist Catherine Douglas opines that the act and practice of naming dairy cows encourages farmers to treat the animals better, leading to reduced stress for the cattle. The stress of the farmers was not part of the study.
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Naming a few dozen head wouldn’t likely be a problem for most people, but when faced with herds in the 200, 300 and 400 plus range, it’s bound to get more complicated.
Once farmers have named every cow with the obvious moniker (Spot, Freckles, Patches), and then named those who bear a resemblance to acquaintances (Cutie Pie, Ramblin’ Rose – and Ermintrude, a name noted in many news reports on this study) and then used all the names of the seven dwarfs, where might they turn next?
Well, since the mental ease and peace of cows and related elimination of fear is associated with naming, perhaps the next obvious source is the books of the Bible. What could give more serenity to both farmers and their animals than these? And if not easy to remember for everyone, the names of the books are easy to rediscover.
Can you hear it now, as farmers gently direct their cows into the milking parlour?
“Genesis, get out of that garden. Time for milking.”
“Exodus, where do you think you’re going? Come back here!”
“Leviticus, it’s not too late for you to become a burnt offering, so behave yourself and get into your stall.”
“Numbers, I’ve lost track of you. It would help if you’d stop wandering in the desert.”
“Deuteronomy, remember that if you kick me, I’ll have to kick you back. An eye for an eye, and all that stuff.”
“Ruth, stick with Naomi. Oh, what am I saying? Of course you will.”
“Job, be careful. You know what bad luck you tend to have.”
“Ecclesiastes, there’s a time for everything. And now is the time to be milked.”
“Psalms and Proverbs, hush up. You’ve both said your piece. Stop lying down in green pastures and get into the barn.”
“Lamentations, pick up the pace a little. You look depressed and off your feed again.”
And then there’s the New Testament….
