The anti-chair
“This meeting needs a chair. I nominate Mary Collins.”
We people of the modern era apparently are prepared to put up with a lot of fatuous nonsense in the interests of promoting equality for women.
The term “chairman” has gone into disuse because it was considered sexist. Good riddance, say I.
But why on earth would one want to call a perfectly normal human being like Mary Collins a chair? Anyone with grade one arithmetic can point out that chairs are four-legged creatures while humans make do with two.
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The correct, dictionary-approved term for the duties Mary will undertake is to preside. She is a presider and if the meeting drags on to 10 o’clock she will still be presiding. Presider is a nice unisex term that shouldn’t dislocate the nose of the most militant of liberationists.
What is happening when someone presides at a meeting is to exercise direction or control. The president may do this or the president may delegate the job to someone like Mary Collins who has a big voice and commanding presence.
I think we should decide that the new millennium would be a good time to drop kick the chair term off the dock. Chairs are for people to sit on, not to aspire to.
Supporting the cause of equal rights for women is commendable but using it to make the confusing English language even more incomprehensible is inexcusable. Have mercy on all these Asians who are immigrating to Canada and are trying to learn the language.
That woman, a chair?
The chair designation proves our hearts are in the right place but we’ve taken leave of our grey matter.
