Song for pork meatatarians - Editorial Notebook

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A television commercial for a fast food chain always makes me smile. It’s the one in which a guy refuses an offer of salad and declares himself to be “a meatatarian.”

“You’ve got to commit,” he tells his perplexed companion.

Recent servings of pork on Parliament Hill, in Winnipeg and in Edmonton have illustrated the safety of pork, as politicians make the commitment that it is safe to eat and unconnected to recent scares over the H1N1 flu virus.

I doubt anyone will become a meatatarian because of it, but the point was worth making.

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Fortunately, the facts about the flu virus are now becoming better known and the number of reported human cases is waning. This doesn’t mean we should let down our guard, as health officials warn, but it does mean a reprieve for the beleaguered hog industry.

Our pork producers were victims not of the virus, but of the viral spread of inaccurate information and public fear.

They need some cheering up. If only we could write a song that might make them feel better… Wait! Paul McCartney has written a great tune already. Here are some words to substitute for Hey Jude:

Hey pig, it’s just too bad

You caught a sad flu but you got better.

Remember, you played no infectious part

So markets can start to behave better.

Hey world, we’re not afraid

To eat all pork that might be out there.

The minute we let the naysayers win

Then we begin to meet new debtors.

So anytime you feel a sneeze, hey world,

refrain

From coughing upon our head and

shoulders.

For well you know that it’s a fool who

plays it cool

When flu makes us all feel so much older.

Hey pork, don’t let me down.

I love you smoked, or fried or simmered

And bacon or ribs or some other part

Will always start to make meals better.

So send it out or order in, hey world, begin

To help all the farmers who can feed you.

Don’t you know that it’s just you, hey

world, just you

Who knows H1N1 can’t defeat you.

Hey guys, we’re just so glad

Such a sad song has become better.

Remember to wash your hands and your

skin

Then you’ll begin to make the flu better

better better better better better, oh!

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