One summer when I was in my teens, a neighbour needed help putting up hay. He still farmed with horses and I got to drive the team and run the dump rake. We had farmed with horses when I was younger, but weren’t any more, so haying with my neighbour was like dying and going to heaven. Then to top it off, he paid me when we were done. I didn’t bother telling him I’d have probably paid him to let me do it.
I tell this story because it is so easy, especially when we are feeling stressed, to forget the many blessings we have in our lives and how much pleasure comes for free.
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Here’s another example. The Village Kitchen, a small cafŽ in Winfield, Alta., near our farm, has an open jam session on the last Saturday of every month. I have seen as many as 25 players crammed into an itty-bitty space, having a great time. I am an average guitar player and an OK singer, but I have a lot of fun at these jams, and the neat thing is, if you are one of the performers, you get a free supper.
I was talking with a woman from Saskatchewan the other day who mentioned that she and her husband, when they are feeling particularly stressed, remember the benefits of being on the farm. For example, she said she got to stay home with the kids while they were growing up, which was worth a lot to them.
They also get to live in the country, surrounded by nature. They have good friends and good family relationships.
We are used to measuring success by material trappings, known as the standard of living, and we imagine that a high standard of living is the source of happiness. The truth is, once we have our basic needs met, plus some comforts and even a few luxuries, our lives will not be made better with more stuff. In fact, our quality of life begins to drop as we continue to buy and then struggle to pay for more stuff than we need or can even benefit from.
In my farm management training courses, I have asked dozens of groups to list the most important things for high quality of life. The lists they come up with are amazingly consistent and usually look something like this:
1. Family.
2. Friends.
3. Community.
4. Spiritual growth.
5. Sense of achievement.
6. Helping others.
7. Learning new things.
8. Free time.
9. Money.
10. Hobbies.
Notice that money is near the bottom of the list. Now, nobody has ever said money isn’t important. However, doing this exercise helps people realize other, more important things suffer when work takes over.Ê
My friend Jerome said he read somewhere that you can’t think negative thoughts when you are smiling. He decided to give it a try and one day, when he was feeling particularly stressed, he forced himself to smile as he drove around the farm. He said it felt kind of weird at first and the smile no doubt looked pretty phony, but the interesting thing was, he started feeling better.
Research at the University of California’s School of Medicine shows that when people intentionally look surprised, disgusted, sad, angry, fearful or happy, their bodies react as if the feelings were real and trigger the chemicals that go with the feeling. The autonomic responses, such as heart rate, finger temperature, skin resistance and muscle tension, are similar whether the subjects are mentally reliving past experiences or simply forcing themselves to look happy or sad.
In other words, acting as if you feel a certain way can get the body chemistry moving in that direction and soon you actually feel the way you look.
If you make a habit of smiling whenever you feel stressed, you won’t feel as stressed. It’s that simple, and it’s free.
Edmonton-based Noel McNaughton speaks at conventions and for corporations on Farming/Ranching at Midlife Ñ Strategies for a Successful Second Age. He can be reached at 780-432-5492, e-mail noel@midlife-men.com or visit www.midlife-men.com.
