When this column is published, I will be – God and Air Canada pilots willing – just back from the eastern townships of Quebec and the national convention of the Canadian Community Newspapers Association.
Before I go on a trip like this I always like to clear my desk – partly to prove to myself that I can and partly because, though I may be away, the mail and the faxes keep coming and if I don’t clean it off, my desk will be more of a boar’s nest when I come back than when I left.
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There is more trivia on my desk than enough. Why, I wonder, do I collect this stuff? Or do I just attract it, like a black dress attracts lint?
The top article is about a guy in Nevada who spilled coffee on himself and wanted restaurants to post labels on coffee containers warning about the potential danger of spills. Fortunately, the Nevada Supreme Court – yes, it went that far – didn’t agree.
The next on the pile is an old clipping telling me that if my rooster flaps its wings and crows at irregular intervals, there will be a change in the weather. That might be useful if I ever get a rooster, which is highly unlikely. I will, however, be watching my cat closely. Great winds are apparently due if she runs around at top speed, but if she spends a lot of time washing herself there will be rain. We may be due for a lot of wind and rain.
Continuing through the pile, I discover that year 2000 is the International Year of Mathematics, of which a key aim, according to the National Post, is to remind the public that math can be fun and it also makes the world go round.
I thought it was love, but I guess I was listening to the wrong song.
There is something in the pile for those who like quizzes. This one deals with the parts of the body. An example: A necessity on a journey. Answer: A trunk.
Let’s try another one: What soldiers carry (arms), wilderness (waist) chat chummily (chin). Enough.
Fortunately, my calendar for August is almost empty, for the final piece of paper in the pile offers me many options for celebrating: August Family Fun Month and also Foot Health Month, National Catfish Month, National Eye Exam Month and National Investor’s Month.
If month-long celebrations don’t appeal, pay heed: on the first you can celebrate National Night Out, the fifth marks National Mustard Day and the sixth is National Fresh Breath Day.
On the 22nd, you can mark Be An Angel Day by doing something nice for someone.
Happy holidays, one and all.
