In this season of Christmas and its carols, we present this holiday medley of variations on the old standards.
We start with a selection for prairie grain farmers, sung to the tune of Angels We Have Heard On High:
Prices we have seen on high
Sweetly sweeping o’er our plains
If they stay there we can buy
More inputs to grow our grains
Gloria! Buy low, sell high, say so!
Gloria! Buy low, sell high, grow, grow.
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And now a little something for our federal politicians, sung to the tune of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen:
Good grief ye merry gentlemen, your actions have dismayed
Remember your constituents determine length of stay
You’ve gotten crazed with thoughts of power
And now you’ve gone astray
O tidings of prorogue and turmoil, House without toil
O tidings of prorogue and turmoil.
Here’s one for the federal agriculture minister, sung to the tune of Deck The Halls:
Deck the Ritz with slabs of cold cuts, fa la la la la, la la la la
Chalk it up to brief signs of klutz, fa la la la la, la la la la
Dons he now a smooth demeanor, fa la la la la, la la la la
His remarks will now be keener, fa la la la la, la la la la.
Was the Canadian Wheat Board on Santa’s “nice” list? Sing this one to the tune of Ding Dong Merrily On High:
See that monopoly on high
The wheat board bells are ringing.
Ding dong, verily it cries
The single deskers singing
Gloria! Four out of five victorious.
The marketing choice group gets its own ode, sung to of O Little Town of Bethlehem:
Oh little vote on marketing, we simply wonder why
The freedom call did not prevail, despite our fervent try.
Yet in the future shineth the hope of market choice
The hopes and dreams of all our teams
Will soon our cause rejoice.
Here is a White Christmas carol for cattle producers:
I’m dreaming of no COOL Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the beef needs no label
It sits on the tables
Of people from Blaine to New York State.
I’m dreaming of no COOL Christmas
With every calf that hits the ground
I wonder where on earth it will be sold
And whether the Yanks can be cajoled.
May the coming year bring sweeter music. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
