Aging rancher confronts the 'big change' - Ranching after 50

I used to be a high energy person who loved new ideas and challenges, and thrived on having too many things to do.

Seven years ago when I turned 50, things began to change.

I didn’t notice it at first because I was distracted by running my training program in holistic management, and even more by my latest venture of acting on a dream of moving back to the home farm in west-central Alberta.

We bought the farm from my parents in 1996. My dad had been custom grazing in the summers, and that suited me fine. I pictured myself managing the cattle in the summer, and running my training business by phone and internet in the winter.

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My wife, Elizabeth, grew up on a farm in southwestern Ontario, and never really had a hankering to go back to farm life. She had a successful business in Edmonton, where we lived at the time, about 140 kilometres from the farm, but a year or two before she had been hit hard by menopause, and was struggling to find the energy to see her clients. She thought closing her practice and moving to the farm would provide a therapeutic break.

We both knew it was a big change, but we were optimistic it would work.

Things went well the first few months while we did some renovations to the house, installed a few kilometres of electric fence and put in water lines for planned grazing. The summer passed smoothly and the grazing plan worked well.

Then came the first winter.

It was one of the longest I recall. The snow came in early October and it seemed to fall all winter long, accompanied by colder than normal temperatures. By January, Elizabeth was feeling isolated and depressed, and even I was getting a little stir crazy sitting at home day after day, working on my computer and administering my holistic management program while my facilitators led the training workshops. I was still content with the idea of living out the rest of my days on the farm, but by the time the last blizzard came in mid May, it was clear this was not the right place for Elizabeth.

But something else had happened. The training program I had been so passionate about when I started it in 1991 had lost its appeal. I still loved the idea of teaching people a better way to manage, but I didn’t have the energy to market and carry out the program. At the time, I attributed it to the entrepreneurs’ curse of getting bored with a business project once it was running successfully.

But it was more than that.

Once we knew we needed to leave the farm to have a life that would satisfy both of us, we decided to move to Vancouver. We had invested in a new company there a year or so before, and although it was not yet profitable, it looked promising, and the management team asked me to join them. The company was developing technology to harvest water from the air. That fit my values of improving people’s quality of life while helping improve the health of the earth’s ecosystem, so I said OK.

We moved. We still own the farm, but rent it to a neighbour who manages it according to our specifications.

After a few months in the big city I began to notice I did not have any passion for launching the new company. Eventually the company failed.

In fact, I did not seem to have any passion for anything in particular. I didn’t have the energy I used to have. Even my sex drive was lower. I found it hard to focus on figuring out what to do. I was beginning to feel as though I was experiencing symptoms similar to what Elizabeth had been describing the past few years in menopause.

I began to talk to other men my age, and found they were experiencing similar symptoms. One friend even told me sex was starting to feel like a chore. And many were getting tired of what they had been doing, and were wanting to try something new. It wasn’t just my farm and ranch friends who were feeling the changes. City friends were getting so they could hardly stand to put in another day on the job. One friend had closed his consulting business because he just couldn’t force himself to keep up the pace any more, and was nearing bankruptcy. Others got downsized.

Knowing that I wasn’t alone in experiencing these changes, I decided to do some research. What I found surprised me. It seems for many the 50s decade is a time of change, which can be frightening and exhilarating. But it is also a time of gaining a new perspective on life. The 50s can also be dangerous to your health and hard on your bank account. While there are dozens of books about menopause for women, there are few to help men get through this transition.

The French call the 50-plus period “the third life.” The first 20-30 years are for studying, finding our feet and in general, growing up. The middle segment is devoted to expectations of society such as marriage, kids and work. The third life is to use what we have learned to enjoy life and to share what we have learned with others.

In North America this stage has the empty nest and retirement as admission signs at the gatepost.

Negotiating this interesting time will be the subject of further articles.

Edmonton-based Noel McNaughton is a professional speaker, facilitator, coach and writer who specializes in guiding men and women through the uncertainty of life transitions. He can be reached at 877-736-1552 or by e-mail at noel@mcnaughton.ca.