Stability is one of the most important keys to keeping the family together, says one psychologist.
Having family members who can be counted on to do what they say they will is the start of a good foundation for the family, Dr. Henry Janzen told a group of women at the 11th annual Fall Focus.
Farm families and Christian families are among the most stable, he said. In his Mennonite church there is a two percent divorce rate, which indicates a solid value system and a commitment to each other, he said.
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One of the keys to stability is doing what is promised. If the husband said he’d be home by six and will be late, he phones. If he promises to take out the garbage, he takes it out.
“Successful families have clear roles assigned to each person.”
But it’s also important to realize roles aren’t assigned to one person forever. It’s important to change who does the regular shopping, cleaning or cooking.
Another key to keeping families together is to respect the elders of the family, he said.
“You shut up and listen when the elders talk. They’re coming at you from experience.”
Communication is also crucial, said Janzen, but it has to be diplomatic.
He also told women to recognize everyone in the family is an individual and has unique strengths. Don’t treat everyone in the family the same.
Another important part of a healthy family is a good social life. Happy families spend a lot of time building up a social network. He suggests married couples have plenty of married friends.
“The loneliest people of all are the people that don’t have a good social network.”
