Since the federal agriculture minister says it is time for some farmers to pursue new careers outside of farming, here’s one to consider — something that can take advantage of all those long hours spent on tractor seats.
Farmers can become professional seat-fillers.
I was unaware of these patient human beings until a recent story from the New York Times news service described how 180 men and women were bussed in to help with the Academy Awards in Los Angeles.
Whenever someone went to the bathroom or bar, these temporary seat-fillers would “race to fill seats vacated by stars” so that “when the camera pans the audience, the house will not look half empty.”
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This is a 25-year tradition with strict rules on what seat fillers wear, how they act, and even “how to slither gracefully down a row of seats,” said the article. Remember to point the rear end away from the face, not into the face of people who are seated.
These professional seat-fillers are an intriguing concept. Think of the potential. In provincial legislatures, in the House of Commons, perhaps even the Senate, farmers could be used to fill the seats of missing politicians.
People weren’t paid to do this duty at the Oscars because their compensation is the thrill of sitting next to famous movie stars.
But farmers deserve more if they temporarily replace the politicians. The politician’s pay for the day might be fair.
The farmers should also be given full voting rights during the time served.
Everyone wins in this situation. The place looks packed and has quorum, yet MPs could sneak out to golf or speak on radio talk shows.
And, with no party lines to confine them, farmers could vote in their own best interests.
