Farming is hard enough with a young family and two adults. It’s even harder when your husband dies and you’re left to raise the children and continue to farm, three widows told an Alberta farm women’s conference.
Jean Heie of Kingman, Virginia Van Petten of Kelsey and Joan Baumle of Kelsey told their story at the Camrose, Alta., Fall Focus Nov. 14.
Baumle always had fond memories of growing up on the farm. Life was carefree and fun. When she married her husband, Marvin, she took an active part in the farm. For 25 years they worked hard in the farm and welding business to buy land, machinery and raise a family.
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“I always felt like an equal partner,” Baumle told the group of 350 women. “I always took an active role in the farm and welding shop.”
With this stable foundation, in 1990 she started a successful on-farm dried flower business.
In 1995 her husband died of cancer. But before he died they were able to get all the necessary paperwork in order. There was an understanding their son, Reg, would help farm.
During the last harvest before her husband’s death, Baumle and her son, then 21, did most of the farming.
Now each morning Baumle and her son plan their day to help focus their energy and build their confidence. Twice a year the family gets together to set goals, make field charts and talk about the future.
Because she is so involved in the farm business, Baumle said she enjoys talking about topics that are more traditionally reserved for men.
“At social events I’m often more comfortable sitting with the men discussing minimum tillage.”
Farming without her husband isn’t easy, she said, but she relies on her own skills to help her continue.
“It’s finding the confidence to know we can do it.”
When Virginia Van Petten was growing up on a dairy farm, she loved being outdoors. After 20 years of marriage, she and her husband hoped to grow old together.
But one Mother’s Day he got a burning pain in his head and collapsed from a cerebral hemorrhage.
“We were stunned and shocked. He was 40 years old,” said Van Petten who was left with two girls, 16 and 10 and two boys 12 and 13.
During the first week the neighbours finished seeding and friends gathered around. But when everyone went home, she felt alone.
“I never felt so lost in my life,” she said. “These four children were my total responsibility.”
Because Van Petten had always done the farm books the transition was easier. The hardest part was machinery repairs, she said. She’d watched her husband fix equipment, but was lost when she had to do it on her own.
“As the years went by I learned to fix things.”
At first she was intimidated by the men in the machinery and grain companies, but said she can now “B.S. with the best of them.”
After her husband died she sat down with her family to talk about their future.
“We thought we’d give farming on our own a try,” said Van Petten, knowing the option of renting her land made it easier to keep going.
It’s been 10 years since her husband died and the children have taken pride in sharing the responsibility of the farm, she said. Her oldest son has chosen to come back to the farm and soon they will make new goals and expand the farm.
During this year’s harvest, with two sons helping, Van Petten thought she’d nip into the house to make some pickles. “My son said ‘who needs pickles? I’ve got a list of things you can do’. “
When Jean Heie married Don in 1971, he was already farming with his father. In 1982 he was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma and lived almost another 10 years after his diagnosis.
Her husband was a meticulous record keeper, she said, and knew where everything was, which helped in the transition.
“I can’t emphasize enough the importance of keeping everything up to date,” said Heie of the legal documents. After the funeral there was hardly any paperwork.
When her husband died her children were 10, 14 and 17 and they farmed 1,900 acres.
There had always been a hired man on the farm. After the funeral Heie drew up a list of jobs she could do and a list for the hired hand.
It was up to her to market the grain, design crop rotations, decide what sprays to use and learn the rules of pedigreed seed. She loaded the trucks for seeding and the hired man put in the crop.
Heie is involved with a local marketing club that helps her make farming decisions and she has maintained a good working relationship with local machinery dealerships.
“I never felt I was alone,” said Heie, who was comfortable asking for the neighbour’s advice.
But the time hasn’t been easy, even though she has a good support group, she said.
“The past 10 years have been extremely challenging and very difficult. It has been incredibly hard.”
For years she would get flu-like symptoms during the busy season that she finally diagnosed as stress. She now makes a determined effort not to worry as much.
Raising her children has been key. She never wanted them to miss out on events because she was too busy or because they had to farm.
At her husband’s funeral, three or four men told Heie they hoped her kids didn’t need to work as hard as they did when their fathers died.
One son now helps on the farm and has eased her workload.
“Ten years has been a long time. It’s amazing what you can do if you put your mind to it. It’s been difficult but it’s possible.”
