Q: I am feeling a bit hollow. I do not seem to be able to get as emotionally involved as much as I used to. I feel like I am not connected to anything much of the time.
That seems to be happening throughout our family as well. In fact, we are a bit edgy with each other much of the time. I don’t think that our teenaged daughter has ever spent so much time alone in her bedroom.
I wonder if what is happening in the house is in some way related to the pandemic. Is that possible?
Read Also
Manitoba Parkland research station grapples with dry year
Drought conditions in northwestern Manitoba have forced researchers at the Parkland Crop Diversification Foundation to terminate some projects and reseed others.
A: The short answer to your question is “yes”. The long answer is “grieving.”
Most of us think of grieving as something that happens in and around death and dying but in fact grieving, which means recognizing the loss of significant others in our lives, can penetrate just about any change in circumstance.
When one of your close neighbours moves away to a different community, chances are you might be grieving their loss. When your pet dog gets run over by a passing motorist you might be grieving the loss of a love object. When one of your colleagues gets a significant promotion and moves his desk to head office, you might be grieving the loss of support at work.
Empty nest is very often grieving, as is graduation, be it from kindergarten, high school, university or from any school of professional training.
The pandemic is a plethora of change. Who would have thought two years ago that when people were taking their computers home from the office that many of them would still be working out of their homes today? Who could have imagined that our children would have so much time scheduled away from their classrooms, learning on their home computers? Who would have thought that your kids would have had to make special plans just to go to a movie, or that they would have to wear facemasks to play hockey?
Think about it: you cannot buy groceries without wearing a mask. You cannot get on any number of airplanes without being tested for the virus. You have to have proof of vaccination if you take your family out for supper and this Christmas you are being asked to cut down the number of people you have over to join the celebration.
The sum total for all of the changes initiated by the pandemic is a whole lot of grieving.
You probably need to talk about it. In fact, your whole family is likely in need of a few good conversations.
You do not have very much control over many of the changes brought on by that miserable little virus but you can control how you are going to react to the changes, how you are going to grieve.
If you spend a few moments each night, with the TV turned off, cellphones put away and computers on pause, you can with a little encouragement, start to talk to each other in your family.
You might feel a little bit sad that you have to honour so many restrictions to protect yourself from the virus, you might feel badly that you are not able to intermingle with your cohorts as freely as you did in days gone by, and you may feel badly that going to school or going to work or cleaning the house is not as joyous as it once was. But as you rediscover each other, you might also feel good that despite the changes, you as a family can still laugh and talk and enjoy being together.
Grieving is, after all, healing and healing is positively encouraging.
