LETHBRIDGE, Alta. – As the mother of eight, Paulette Mathes thinks she knows something about raising kids.
Most families know how to work out their problems. They just need a tuneup once in awhile, the Lethbridge woman said.
Noting the proliferation of parenting courses, Mathes thinks many adults are looking for 30-minute solutions to five-year-old problems. Today, social outlets like relatives and neighbors who once gave inspiration or practical advice on raising children, have disappeared. Modern parents often feel inadequate.
“Instead of feeling confident in what we do, we too often take the negative side,” she said.
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Parents can give their children the gift of independence so they can “go out into the world and do better than we’ve done. Hopefully, each generation will continue to improve,” Mathes said at the annual housewives conference in Lethbridge.
If children are overly dependent on parents, they become hostile because they don’t know how to interact properly with the outside world, she said.
Family members need to know they are loved unconditionally and home should be a place where self-esteem is built. Some people believe talking kindly to plants makes them grow. The same rule should apply to children.
Besides running seminars, Mathes teaches family life courses at Lethbridge Community College, southern Alberta schools and churches. She also demonstrates crafts on a local children’s television show called “Scoop.”
Raising children: some do’s and don’ts
Mathes believes children and other family members should not be pampered. She offered 12 tips for raising
children over seven years of age.
- Do not call them more than once to wake up.
- Do not routinely drive children to events on short notice.
- Do not pick out their clothes.
- Do not give money on demand. Give them an allowance.
* Do not allow children to curse or speak disrespectfully
- Do not allow children to curse or speak disrespectfully
in their homes.
- Do not make a child’s homework your responsibility.
- Do not allow them to eat meals in front of the TV.
Meals should be a family affair.
- Do not clean up after children or spouses.
- Everyone in the family must help with family chores.
* Do not rescue children from the consequences of
- Do not rescue children from the consequences of
bad behavior.
- Share chores among children and your mate. Learn that it will not be “mother-perfect.”
- Do not be a martyr.
