Q: I think that every woman in the county will send you roses if you solve our problem. How do we get our husbands to put the toilet seat down? No matter how many times we ask them, or whatever rewards and punishments we use, toilet seats are still left up. Do you have any suggestions?
A: Most of the men I have met in the country and on the farm are at any given moment, processing family dynamics, present and future prices on the markets, machinery problems, weather predictions, economic indicators, plant sciences and governmental programs and regulations.
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When you make a simple request it goes into their heads but quickly gets overwhelmed by all of the other things going on. What we do in our washrooms are long and ingrained habits and habits are always hard to change.
If you are serious about getting toilet seats lowered, you might try engaging your husband in long and involved conversations about the virtues of the depressed toilet seat. You do not do this to annoy him but to get them thinking about your toilet seats more than they usually would.
If you can get them to think about it, chances are better that they will not ignore your requests.
Engaging your husband in long conversations about toilet seats carries their own sets of risks. Who is to know where the conversations are going to go? Talks about toilet seats open everyone up to wit and humour. But that is OK.
Your goal is not to win arguments. Your goal is to get your husband to think more about your request and, as I said, the more that he thinks about it, the more he will remember and the more he will likely comply.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan who has taught social work at two universities. Mail correspondence in care of Western Producer, Box 2500, Saskatoon, Sask., S7K 2C4 or e-mail jandrews@producer.com.
