Q: Our son is not doing well. He was OK when he was taking classes at the university but he was not able to get a job after he graduated and that is when he got another major depressive disorder. We cannot afford to support him when he is unemployed and living on his own in the city and welfare will not give him enough of an allowance to live somewhere that is decent. He is coming home. We will help our son by taking him to his appointments with his psychiatrist but we are not sure how else we can support him. What do you suggest?
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A: You want to help your son as much as you can but he is now an adult and even though he is depressed, he is legally independent and expected to take charge of his own affairs.
The starting point is to encourage him to identify who should be included in his therapeutic family. This circle of care will include ones he picks from your household as well as close friends or acquaintances.
The task of the therapeutic family is to engage your son when he is not attending appointments or involved in counselling.
Your son is depressed, so he will be inclined to withdraw. The group will help ensure that he is taking his medication, attending appointments and is as active as possible. They will also listen to him when he gets discouraged and help to steer him toward future prospects.
But the extent to which the therapeutic family is involved will depend on your son’s mental health professionals. The family will need your son’s permission to talk to them. Mental health professionals are fastidiously careful about patients’ right to confidentiality. That keeps your son in control of what is happening in his life.
Depression tends to come and go. The extent to which your son is able to count on his therapeutic family when he is depressed and at other times is a significant factor in both reducing the numbers of times he gets depressed and the intensity. His therapeutic family can become a major support throughout his life.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan. Contact: jandrews@producer. com.
