A week ago, a toddler started to dash out into the middle of the street that I was driving down. The mother yelled, ran out and grabbed her child. Her action was appropriate and responsible when dealing with a two year old.
But what happens when we yell, run after or grab our teenagers? There comes a point where we have to let teens experience the consequences of their actions. But as parents we need to set the boundaries for the stage on which they choose these actions.
Read Also
VIDEO: Bittersweet harvest for this family farmhand
Bruce Burnett helps his brother harvest wheat and canola for the last time on the family farm in Manitoba where they both grew up.
Unfortunately, many teens go through a period where they are deaf when adults speak. Yet parents need to set reasonable boundaries for them until they reach adulthood. There are many callenges in parenting teens:
- Listen to the teen.
- Be willing to set appropriate boundaries for them, giving them a chance for input, but retaining the final veto as parents.
- Give them good information about making choices and feeling good about themselves.
Pat Palmer is not a teenager and is in her 70s. But she has been reaching out to educate kids and teens for many years in their language. Her book Teen Esteem, A Self-Direction Manual for Young Adults by Impact Publishers would be a wonderful birthday gift to a 10 year old.
Whether we like it or not, children start thinking as a teen about that age today.
Palmer and co-author Mellissa Alberti Forehner write about how to communicate effectively and assertively with others and with one’s self. But many teens pay more attention to what people other than their parents say to them.
Helping a teen to discriminate good information from bad is crucial, especially since they often rely on their peers, who often are busy reacting to other adults themselves.
Feeling good involves having fun. Palmer and Foehner present these ideas in Teen Esteem:
- Work up a sweat. Do something physical. Exercise produces chemicals in your body that make you feel good.
- Find a good listener, someone who will listen without judging.
- Learn how to relax your body and your mind.
- Go for natural highs. You can get highs from good thoughts and fun experiences if you learn how to do it. Using chemicals is a poor substitute for the real thing.
- Regularly think of things for which you are grateful. The more you think positively, the more you will feel positive.
- Make a loveable list. Write things down. Ask others for things they like about you. When you read them, you will stop putting yourself down so easily when things don’t go smoothly.
