Spouse won’t leave the farm – Coping

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Published: July 25, 2002

Q: How can I get my husband to take a holiday off the farm? We can

afford to take some vacations, but he keeps coming up with excuses for

not being able to leave the farm whenever I ask about going somewhere.

We are free to travel, now that the kids are grown up, but it seems I

can’t get him to budge out of the yard.

A: If someone doesn’t want to do something, he will keep coming up with

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reasons for not doing it. Perhaps your husband doesn’t feel a need for

a holiday. That’s fine – for him.

Tell him that you have this need, not just for a holiday, but for some

relaxation and personal time with him away from the farm.

Stand up for your right to have a reasonable share of time and

attention from him.

Being a partner involves recognizing your partner’s needs and going

along with those from time to time. When he married you, he chose to

spend his life with you.

Let him know that you expect him to put aside some time each year for

the two of you to do things that are important for your well-being.

Ask him to sit down and review the annual work needs on the farm.

If you have cattle, what time of year could you arrange for someone to

do the routine chores?

Where would you like to go that is within your budget?

Holidays don’t have to be expensive. There are often bargain charter

flight seat sales, particularly in winter, to warmer destinations. You

can research places to go through travel books.

Even short breaks can be good.

There are many prairie places that can be visited in a few days that

would appeal to most people’s interests, such as agricultural museums,

archeological sites, historic towns, fall or winter festival events.

Even a few days in one of the larger cities can be fun for the shopping

and entertainment choices.

I enjoy taking one or two day drives and exploring the various hiking

trails that are described in Saskatchewan Trails, A Guide to Nature

Walks and Easy Hikes, by Robin and Arlene Karpan, Parkland Publishing

$19.95.

Peter Griffiths is a mental health counsellor based in Prince Albert,

Sask. His columns are intended as general advice only. His website is

www3.sk.sympatico.ca/petecope.

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