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Should we know gender of unborn child?

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Published: June 7, 2018

Q: Last Friday evening my granddaughter’s friends put together a gender identity party for her. My granddaughter is five months pregnant. She and her boyfriend went for an ultrasound a few days ago but instead of telling them the results of the ultrasound, the technician put his findings into a sealed envelope to give to them. They then gave the envelope to one of their friends who, in turn, organized a party for opening the envelope and sharing the results with all who were there. Apparently my granddaughter is about to have a little girl.

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To be honest, Mr. Andrews, I found the whole exercise disturbing. In my day the birth of a child was a spiritual thing. We had no way of knowing what the gender of the child might be and we did not care. All that mattered was that we were given a gift from God and ours was the task to care for the child, to love it beyond compare, and to guide it through all that mattered in childhood. As I see it, gender identity parties depreciate the seriousness of childbirth. I don’t like them. Grandpa tells me that I am just a little bit too old and that maybe I need to change with the times, but I don’t want to learn to appreciate something I don’t like. Where do you stand on this Mr. Andrews?

A: In and of themselves gender identity parties are neither helpful nor harmful to either the unborn child or his or her expectant parents. For many people the gender identity party is not much different than is a baby shower, the only real differences being that the gender identity party is held before the birth of the child, as opposed to after delivery for the baby shower, that those men normally excluded from the baby shower are included in the gender identity party, and that while presents are the order of the day from those who attend showers, most gender identity parties do not invite participants to come loaded with gifts.

You are right of course, very often gender identity parties are generally caught in an evening of levity. Some people find that somewhat disconcerting. Although Mom and baby have made it through the most critical period of the pregnancy neither are completely out of the woods yet. A lot can happen during those final three or four months of a pregnancy and of course the delivery of the baby is always a potentially risky moment. Mom and Dad need to continue to be aware of the seriousness of the birth of their child. They cannot let a night of frivolous fun take away from the magnitude of their responsibilities.

Neither can Mom and Dad let the party distract from the realities of their about to be newborn child. Despite the gender identity party, or the baby shower, or whatever, babies are still babies and children are still children. All of us like to think that our children are special, and of course they are, but special or not they come into this world kicking and screaming, ready to challenge just about any sleepless night, and often as not manufacturing enough waste to seep out of the corners of even the most technologically approved diaper. Nothing more should be expected from the newborn baby. It is only then that your granddaughter and her boyfriend can open their hearts when the baby is fed and cleaned and sleeping peacefully in his or her sleeper and find in their hearts nothing more absolutely beautiful.

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