There is no better time than the new year to commit to reaching personal goals. The beginning of a year provides us with a date that helps measure success, and allows us to start off on the right foot. Once the new year is well under way, we need to rely on will power to live up to our commitments. And if you are anything like me, that will power is on vacation with no definite return date.
By now, the second month of the year, I should be practicing positive parenting skills, have started my exercise regimen, scheduled activities to improve my well being and adapted a more nutritious diet. Yet, the spandex and Walkman still remain in a dusty drawer, I went to bed with my makeup on last night without taking any time for myself, I was impatient with my children today, and for a snack I had chips and dip.
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Here are a few tips from Sympatico that may help:
- Evaluate whether or not the goals you have set will be attainable. For example, don’t plan on losing 50 pounds in two months. A couple of pounds a week would be a more realistic goal. Some things take time.
- Write down how you plan to achieve your goals. This could include: a schedule; a list of physical aids or resources that could help you; clubs, community programs or night school classes that might help; or things you can do to fill the void left by bad habits.
- Write down progress in a diary or journal.
- Rewarding yourself for successes will give you incentive to stay on track. For example, take yourself out to lunch with the money you’ve saved after not smoking or at least cutting back for a week.
- Talk to others who are in the same predicament as you. Start a weekly get-together to give support, encourage others who share your concerns, or call a friend who you enjoy talking to.
Parenting skills
It would be so much easier if babies came with a lifetime manual. I have lots of books that promise to be helpful, but there is such a big pile. Where do I start and when do I do it?
I cannot read when there is noise, so I need a quiet time. I will start by reading a chapter a night. Occasionally, I will read a magazine article that discusses parenting. Neither of these ideas takes that long. I think it will sink in better if I take in the information more slowly.
One book that has really appealed to me is Children are From Heaven by John Gray. It teaches positive parenting skills that are explained in everyday terms. For example, time-outs are ways to regain control of the situation. Children need to be separated from what is bothering them for one minute for each year of their life. So my four-year-old needs four minutes away.
Gray also suggests that parents ask, not demand things from their children, using language such as “would you please” rather than “could you.”
Unfortunately, I started reading the book once before, but had too many distractions to ever finish. I also wanted to reread articles and books by Phillip McGraw. He caught my attention with this statement: “If you argue with anyone in front of your children, it changes who they are. As a parent you are their safe harbor. You are the island in the middle of the ocean they call home. If children feel secure on their island, they can swim off to school, to a friend’s or to Grandma’s without incident. But if they think that every time they get a little ways out they may turn around and their island will be gone, they get scared and their well-being is damaged. After you argue and they hear it, you go on to the next thing, but they are forever shaken by it.”
I think I can handle this nighttime reading ritual. I will complete a book and refresh myself by rereading others. My kids will thank me in the long run.
Exercise
Why can’t I get moving? Well, in order to do some walking, I would have to get up early in the morning or get out late at night. Mornings are cozy, warm and still dark. And besides, I am stealing every quiet moment my children give me to sleep. At night, once they close their eyes, mine are not too far behind. I don’t want to pry my eyes open and go out in the cold when everyone else in the house is just settling in. This is why I cannot make it work.
If I am going to get out, I have to go in the daytime, and this means working with my little helpers. Solution: pull them on their sleigh on warm days and if the weather is too cold, go skating at the indoor rink. We will all get exercise and have some fun. Most importantly, I am not missing sleep.
Well-being
Lately, I have not made the effort to treat myself. An incentive is the Christmas money that is yet to be spent. The first thing that I really want is to get a copy of Les Henry’s Catalogue Houses Eaton’s and Others. I have always loved looking at and taking pictures of old houses. They have such character. Henry has featured many prairie catalogue homes such as the ones sold by Eaton’s. The book includes pictures, histories of the families and houses, and actual plans. The book is available in bookstores.
I also want to spend money on skincare, but I need more information. I need some consumer skills since there are so many claims out there. Why not look in my Consumer Reports magazine or log on to their website at www.Con
sumerReports.org?
The website is simple to use, although there may be a fee to print some reports. Just type in “moisturizers” and the information and ratings are available in a few seconds. For example, here are the moisturizer ratings. They start with the most effective.
- L’Oréal Plenitude Active Daily Moisture SPF 15, $1.59. Hard to open for people with limited hand strength. Spicy.
- Pond’s Nourishing Moisturizer SPF 15, $1.40. Spicy scent.
- Alpha Hydrox Moisturizing Daily SPF 15, $2.10. Despite its name, it does not contain alpha hydroxy acids. Left more residue than most.
- Purpose Dual Treatment Moisture SPF 15, $2.22. Lacks ingredients that can clog pores. Little scent.
- Almay Moisture Balance Moisture, $2.31. Little scent.
- Clarins Extra-Firming Day SPF 15, $32.35. Thinner than most, but left more residue. Lacks ingredients that can clog pores. Hard to use by people with limited hand strength. Floral scent.
- Estée Lauder 100 percent Time Release, $20.59. Thinner than most, and left less residue. May be suitable under makeup. Retained more moisture than most between two and four hours after application. Hard to use for people with limited hand strength. Herbal-citrus scent.
- Clinique Dramatically Different, $4.76. Thinner than most. Little scent.
- Nivea Visage Daily Nourishing Aloe & Vitamin E SPF 4, $2.25. Thinner than most and left less residue; may be suitable under makeup. Spicy scent.
- Lancôme Bienfait Total SPF 15, $16.76. Retained more moisture than most between two and four hours after application. Hard to use for people with limited hand strength. Floral-spicy scent.
- Bath & Body Works Face Sheer Day, $3. Left more residue than most. Contains one or more alpha hydroxy acids. Lost more moisture than most between two and four hours after application. Floral scent.
- Neutrogena Moisture SPF 15, $2.40. Lacks ingredients that can clog pores. Lost more moisture than most between two and four hours after application. Little scent.
The money that I saved from reading this article will go to another treat for myself. Should I go out for lunch or get a manicure? Throughout the year, and budget allowing, I am going to regularly treat myself.
Nutritious eating
My last resolution was to improve my diet. I think that I eat junk food too often. Instead of buying pop the next time I am shopping, I will substitute bottled water. And instead of chips and dip, I will try air-popped corn with no butter. I will eat when I am hungry, which does not include snacking at 10 o’clock every night. This is probably the most difficult resolution for me. Eating junk is a hard habit to break.
By vowing to stick to my resolutions, I have redefined my goals. I have written and posted them where I see them often to keep me on track. I will contact others who are a positive influence when I need motivation and encouragement. The result will be better mental and physical health.
