Q: Our son enjoys playing hockey and both his dad and I love to watch him. He is not the best player but he tries hard and, when he has a good coach, he does what he can to please him. This year, our son has a terrible coach. He plays his favourite players more than he does the others and he screams and shouts when other players make a mistake.
All that our son is learning is how to swear. We are afraid that our son’s coach is going to become so insensitive that our son and others will quit hockey. We do not want that to happen, but neither do we want our son to be abused by the coach. What can we do?
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A: Consider laying a complaint about this coach to the Canadian Amateur Hockey Association. That organization has worked hard to upgrade the quality of the coaches working with the kids.
The CAHA can only be as successful as you let it be. If you do not tell the association about your son’s coach, it will not be able to protect him.
You need to spend time with your son helping him develop skills. A few moments alone with you on a skating rink will do wonders for your relationship while helping him improve.
People think they are teaching children skills by criticizing or complaining, but all of us learn from our mistakes.
As you spend more time teaching your son about hockey, the man who is coaching his team and abusive toward your boy, will not be as powerful or have as much influence.
You son’s coach can scream and shout all he wants, but your son will know that he has parents in his hip pocket. With that support, he can put up with whatever unfairness he faces on the hockey team and continue to play the game.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan. Contact: jandrews@producer.com.
