Q: Could you help us resolve a debate that has been going on in our house for the past three months. Our oldest daughter has just graduated from high school. Her marks have been great and she has applied and been accepted to attend university.
Lately, she has been saying that she does not want to go to university at this point in her life. She would rather work for a couple of years and resume her studies when she is more confident about what she wants to do. My husband is furious. He thinks that if our daughter does not go to university this fall, she will never go. He thinks that our daughter is throwing away this opportunity for herself. What do you think?
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A:When your daughter attends university, whether it is this year or sometime in the future,may not be as important as her reasons for wanting to attend.
Some students go because they want to learn and the campus is a great learning environment. Some go because they think that university will open up more career opportunities for them. Others go to participate in a vibrant social environment.
The more questionable reasons for registering on campus are to please parents and/or to meet community expectations.
Success on campus is drawn from self-discipline and personal responsibility. Those students who are taking classes just to please others are not likely to find the drive within themselves to successfully complete their courses. They are more likely to fail.
Your daughter will likely do better if she leaves her education fund in the bank for a couple of years and uses that time to figure out who she is and what her goals are.
Perhaps you and your husband could take a look at recent statistics identifying who is attending university these days.
Canadian campuses are seeing increases in mature students, with young people waiting until they are between 25 and 35 to begin their studies. In many campuses, more than 25 percent of first year students are older than age 20.
They tend to be better students. They have good reasons for wanting to be there and tend to be more committed to their studies than some of their younger colleagues.
If your daughter chooses not to enroll right away, she may be assuring your husband that the money saved over the years to support her education will be more wisely spent in future.
