Defensive behavior

The way you say something to someone often affects whether he hears you and the way it will be interpreted. Asking someone a question might seem, at first, to be the most effective way to get a response, but it isn’t. It is a short cut. It’s much faster to shoot out a question than […] Read more

Helpful cooking and gardening books

Bill and I recently enjoyed a visit to Costa Rica. It was a great holiday with friends who were former classmates of Bill’s. The trip was part of their festivities to celebrate 40 years since graduation. Of course, we spouses were included, as we have been on many get-togethers over the years. The people of […] Read more

Coping

MSW, RSW Painful to end marriage Q: One of our children was married within the past year or so, and it has broken down. Some little problems quickly ballooned into big ones, and she left him and filed for a no-fault divorce without telling him what the problem was. She has seen a counselor a […] Read more


Aromatherapy, bath salts, some uses for essential oils

March is Nutrition Month I try to provide nutritious meals in my home, as this benefits our family’s well-being. It is not easy to resist the junk food temptation, since speed and simplicity are great selling points. We all give in occasionally, and there is nothing wrong with that, as long as the majority of […] Read more

Coping

MSW, RSW Spouse is controlling Q: I find it hard to live with a controlling husband. I live like a six year old who is not allowed out. I go nowhere alone, since he never lets me off the farm by myself. I desperately need time with my family and friends. Wherever I go, he […] Read more


Coping

MSW, RSW Sex not a commodity A man wrote to me in response to the Dec. 9 column about a woman who was losing interest in sex. He said a similar problem developed between him and his wife after she fell under the influence of a mind-controlling, charismatic religion. “Soon after, intercourse refusals increased, and […] Read more

Ways to reduce stress

After realizing that this is national heart month, I began searching for information. Many of the releases focused on the stress that Canadians are facing. Some feel stress is an overused concept, but the Heart and Stroke Foundation believes that it is threatening our health. The foundation’s annual report shows that 43 percent of people […] Read more

Happy marriage involves honesty and respect

Several months ago, I invited readers to send me their comments about what makes a happy marriage. I did this because people sometimes complain that I only write about marriage problems. That’s true, because the only letters I receive about marriage are about the problems. I was disappointed that only one couple chose to write, […] Read more


Tone of voice affects how others respond

I feel like I’m back in kindergarten when our dog Keasha and I take obedience class. I’m beginning to believe it is really me that is in training rather than the dog. For example, when training her to heel, I must lead off with my left foot. To stay I must lead off with my […] Read more

Aging parents

The declining health of an aging parent and the additional responsibilities it may bring is something almost all of us will deal with. Declining health may happen gradually, or suddenly because of a stroke, heart attack or fall. But whenever it happens, we likely won’t be prepared for it, and will feel overwhelmed and helpless. […] Read more