Q: I am worried about my husband. He is sad, depressed, frustrated and angry and generally discouraged when he comes home from work. Both the other guys and his boss are unrelenting in abusing him. They mock him, call him names and disregard anything that he might have to say.
Seven years is enough. I want my husband to quit, but he thinks he will not be able to find another job in our little town and he does not want to move. Can we do anything to make things better for him?
Read Also
Starting a small business comes with legal considerations
This article sets out some of the legal considerations to start a business to sell home-grown product, such as vegetables, herbs, fruit or honey.
A: It sounds like your husband is in a bullying environment. This is a more common problem than people realize. The Canada Safety Council says that one in six people are bullied at work.
The majority of bullies are supervisors, or other people in authority, but bullying from peers is also a concern, especially when the peers are being encouraged to be abusive by their supervisors.
It is really discouraging that bullies seldom pick on the new guy at work. They go after long-term, established employees, who are reluctant to apply for other jobs.
Does your husband put up with the torment because there are no other jobs in the community or does he put up with it because his own sense of self-worth and esteem has been destroyed over the years?
If your husband is lacking self-confidence, encourage him to see a mental health therapist. The counselling may help resurrect his self-worth.
Your husband has a number of options, including contacting the provincial department of labour.
Saskatchewan and Quebec both have specific legislation protecting workers from workplace bullying.
Even without the legislation, most provincial authorities will support victims and try to improve attitudes.
The other option is for your husband to build up courage to confront his manager with what is happening.
Your husband is a long-term employee. Few managers would want to lose an employee who has been around long enough to know what is expected from him. The cost for replacements is too high and the risk is always that newer employees will not contribute to the extent the old employees did. This gives your husband more power than he likely realizes. He could use it to talk to his boss.
The final option for your husband is to resign. The concern is not whether your husband will find another job but whether he will be able to survive the psychological turmoil.
No job is worth a psychiatric disability, suicide risk or drug and alcohol abuse. One or more of those difficulties might be where your husband is going if he chooses to stay.
Your role is to remind your husband what a remarkable guy he is. You better your chances for a happy ending if your husband knows that the two of you are in it together.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan. Contact: jandrews@producer.com.
