Q: I am concerned about the so-called music that my teenaged son and daughter are listening to these days. The lyrics are vulgar and the messages they give are disgusting. They sing about death and suicide, violence and promiscuous sexual activities. Surely this music is influencing our children’s behaviour. But when I speak to my son and daughter about it, they just laugh and say that I am overreacting. What do you think?
A: Adolescent music has been the focal point of parental concerns for generations. You might remember that Elvis Presley was originally prohibited from singing live on television because he swayed his hips. That was considered vulgar
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The fox trot was thought to be far too wild for sensible young men and women. Even those Straus waltzes that sent couples twirling were thought to be in poor taste. Parents have historically been concerned about young people’s music.
As I see it, the concern should not be about the music. The greater concern needs to be about the values we have to guide our young people through their adolescent years. Often the music to which they are listening is a fad. And like all fads, it will fade into obscurity when it comes face to face with the more fundamental values that we are trying to pass on to our young people.
Unfortunately, the values encouraging all of us to respect the rights and dignity of others are not as common among young people as we would like them to be.
I doubt that turning off the music is going to help those young people who are overly susceptible to the fads of the day.
Most of what children learn about values comes from what they see at home and in their communities. The more that we practise what we preach, the more likely it is that our children will do the same.
When you get up in the morning to do your chores, you are teaching values to your children. When you show respect for people, you are teaching your children to do the same. When you stand at the doorstep, admiring the beauty of the land, you are teaching your children the wonders of nature.
As a reasonable and caring parent., you might have to live with some discomfort while your children make their way through the latest fad. Hopefully, you can get them to turn down the volume so the rest of the house is not disturbed by their music. Just know that as you are a hardworking, caring and respectful person, the chances are good that your children will be as well when they grow into the responsibilities of adulthood. They will do that despite their music.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan who has taught social work at two universities. Mail correspondence in care of Western Producer, Box 2500, Saskatoon, Sask., S7K 2C4 or e-mail jandrews@producer.com.
