There can be many obstacles when searching for the love of your life: shyness, bad experiences in the bar scene and, particularly in rural Canada, a lack of singles in the vicinity.
But for Lise Mitchler, who grew up in St. Leon, Man., the obstacle was more basic: nearly every male in her community was her cousin or second cousin.
“When you’re related to everybody in the area, it makes it kind of hard,” Mitchler said with a laugh.
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After a random search of the internet, she stumbled upon a way around her familial roadblock. She discovered a matchmaking service in Roland, Man., that specializes in rural folks seeking a partner for life.
Diane Mowbray founded Candlelight International Matchmakers 15 years ago, based on the hunch that it was becoming harder for rural people to meet the opposite sex.
“I thought this is something that probably would be important in a rural area because people are spread apart,” said Mowbray, who was a nutritionist before adopting her new title of matchmaker.
“Their paths would not cross unless there is a way (of meeting).”
It turned out her instincts were right. After placing a few ads in rural Manitoba newspapers, Mowbray’s phone began to ring.
Although her business began in 1996 just as the internet was emerging, Mowbray said demand for the service has remained consistent, despite the deluge of online dating services.
“There are still people that aren’t really comfortable to do it online,” she said.
As well, internet daters aren’t always serious about finding a spouse.
“(Sometimes) people aren’t really looking. They’re dabbling…. For some it’s kind of a form of entertainment.”
The more serious nature of match-making appealed to Mitchler. “It wasn’t a casual thing,” she said. “It was for people who are ready to marry and that’s what really attracted me to it.”
After three formal dates through the service, Mowbray introduced Lise to Ron Mitchler of Waldersee, Man. They met for coffee at a Pizza Hut in Portage la Prairie, Man.
For Lise, the connection was instantaneous.
“We ended up talking for five hours…. I knew right away.”
Ron and Lise were engaged seven months later. They have been married for five and a half years, have two children, Mackenzie, 4, and Xander, 3, and live on a farm near Waldersee, Man.
Mowbray attended the couple’s wedding, which she said is not unusual.
“When things work out, we often do get invited to weddings.
This year there were four invitations,” she said.
Mowbray’s clients range in age from early 20s to older than 80. Most folks are from Manitoba, but she also has found mates for people from Saskatchewan and northwestern Ontario.
Slightly more men use her service, but Mowbray said many women are also attracted to matchmaking.
“There are both because I’ve had lots of people get together and get married. So it takes one of each. I really haven’t got into same-sex relationships.”
Mowbray often hears the intimate details of her clients’ heartbreaks and romantic failures. That information remains confidential, but it does offer a window into the Internet dating scene.
“One fellow was saying that he met two ladies online and both of them ended up being married.”
Most clients come to her willingly, but a few come through her doors with a twisted arm.
“Sometimes it will be a parent or a friend, or a relative that will tell someone about it or urge them to try it.”
Ron and Lise are now converts to the matchmaking process, especially Ron, who likes the idea of a formal method to sift through and select a potential spouse.
Having a profile of the other person’s values and beliefs, before meeting, might prevent heartache and conflict down the road, he said.
“Once you meet the person, you still have to get to know (them). But at least you already know some of the qualities in that person from the profile that you see.”
In his case, it was important to meet someone who shared his Christian faith. He is Lutheran and Lise is Catholic, but they’ve managed to sort that out.
For those who haven’t tried it, Ron said it’s likely easier than the alternative of seeking a spouse in bars, grocery store aisles or church basements.
“I’ve got cousins that don’t go anywhere. If you’re a shy person… something like this might be better for them.”
Lise also endorsed the idea of screening prospective spouses, based on a profile of likes, interests and beliefs.
In her case, the process that led her to Ron worked perfectly. With one exception. “He doesn’t dance. That was on my list.”
