What I love most about Christmas are the family gatherings, the feelings of togetherness and the Christmas spirit in the air.
What I don’t like is the overindulging in food, in spending and in clutter.
Our New Year’s resolutions often involve plans to exercise, eat healthier and declutter the house.
Just before Christmas this year, I found a book called Simplify Your Christmas. I appreciated reading this just before I felt the pressures for Christmas overload. This book is about shifting our approach so the holidays are about ease, togetherness and giving from our hearts rather than from our pocketbooks.
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Most of us do not want to stop celebrating Christmas; we just want to make the holidays easier and more enjoyable. By incorporating some of this book’s suggestions, you can plan that next Christmas. You can have a joyous season that is a quiet reflection and retreat from the busy world.
The author sees the season as a time to connect with Mother Earth, give back to the community we live in and be a powerful spiritual interlude of silence and simplicity. To make this work, write down what you enjoyed most about this past Christmas to help you plan all year to make 2008’s holiday more relaxing.
- Ask family and friends what they loved most about Christmas when they were kids. We often remember the smell of the pine tree, stirring the fudge or looking at the Christmas lights. Make a list of these favourites.
- Figure out what you don’t like. It’s become too commercial is a comment you hear from many. Too many pounds, too many bills and too many gift returns are headaches for some people. Exclude whatever causes you the most havoc and stress.
- Spending more doesn’t produce a merrier Christmas. Research shows there is a trend toward gift certificates that focus on personal growth, education, experiences and the future. Consumables help to avoid clutter in our lives.
- Do less, so you have more time to enjoy.
- Avoid messages that suggest you need to craft decorations for every room of the house, load tables with food that is not suitable for your diet, or shop for or hand-make gifts for everyone you know, all year long.
- Monitor your stress levels by avoiding the hectic pace. Your family and friends would rather have you there to visit than all the things you have done in preparation. When did you feel most relaxed this past Christmas?
- Stop the perfectionism. Let go of the need to control. What if you took turns planning Christmas? If the results were different, how would that be? Explore the possibilities.
- Avoid guilt about not doing enough, about not doing it right or about family relationships.
- If you would like, write to TEAM and tell us what you enjoyed most about your Christmas this past year. Just writing it down will remind you of what matters most and set the stage for what you want for Christmas 2008.
Source: Simplify Your Christmas … 100 Ways to Reduce the Stress and Recapture the Joy of the Holidays by Elaine St. James.
Assertiveness skills
Assertiveness is honest communication that contributes to respectful relationships. Assertiveness is a necessary skill that enables a person to act in her own best interest. It involves expressing thoughts and feelings honestly and appropriately, and exercising one’s own rights without denying the rights of others. How do you deliver an assertive but potentially unpopular message?
- Plan for a neutral conversation by waiting until the other person is likely to be most receptive.
- Deliver your message in a positive, brief and direct manner, without being confrontational, judgmental or condescending.
- Nonverbal behaviour such as eye contact, body posture, personal space, gestures, facial expressions, smiling, head nodding, tone and inflection of voice, vocal volume and timing are all important aspects of communication.
- Listen respectfully while the
other person responds, and let him know that you hear and see how he feels about your message.
- If necessary, restate your message in a calm manner.
- Work toward a solution.
- Speak directly with the person involved, clearly stating how the situation is affecting you.
Use “I” statements so that your communication is not blaming, or provokes defensiveness. (I feel this way when … happens.)
- Express your thoughts and feelings honestly and appropriately. Respect demonstrates that you are taking responsibility for yourself and that you are motivated to co-operatively resolve issues.
- Clarify what you want by asking directly.
How to say no
Is it hard for you to say “no” or to accept someone saying “no” to you without experiencing negative emotions? Sometimes our need for approval is too great. Saying no can be a way of taking care of oneself, and is not intended to make another feel rejected. If you say “yes” when you want to say “no”, you end up angry with yourself for doing something you don’t want.
The following questions can help you overcome feelings of guilt.
- Is the request reasonable? Is it something you want to do?
- Ask for more information to be sure you understand the request.
- Practise saying “no.”
- If it is something you do not want to do, you do not need to apologize by saying “I’m sorry, but…” Simply recognize that the most honest communication is simply saying “no.”
Mixed bean stew with dumplings
This is a wonderful meal on a cold, wintry January day.
1 medium red bell pepper,
chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
2-3 teaspoons dried 10-15 mL
basil (2 tablespoons
/25 mL fresh)
1/4 teaspoon pepper 1 mL
1 14 oz. can cannellini 398 mL
or navy beans, rinsed and
drained
1 14 oz. can black 398 mL
beans, rinsed and drained
1 14 oz. can mixed 398 mL
beans, kidney, garbanzo,
etc., rinsed and drained
21/2-3 cups tomato 625-750 mL
sauce
3/4 cup kernel corn 175 mL
Mix together in a pot with a lid. Bring to boil, uncovered, and reduce heat to simmer. While bringing stew to boil, mix together all ingredients for dumpling recipe below:
Dumplings
1 cup shredded 250 mL
cheddar cheese
2/3 cup kernel corn 150 mL
1/2 cup cottage 125 mL
cheese
1/3 cup bread crumbs 75 mL
1/3 cup cornmeal 75 mL
3 egg whites, beaten
Mix together, and shape into
10-12 equal-sized balls, using
approximately two tablespoons
(25 mL) for each.
Once stew has reached a boil and has been reduced to simmer, carefully slide each ball into the simmering stew.
Do not drop directly onto the stew. Rather, place one at a time onto a spoon and lower spoon to the level of the stew.
Use another spoon to slide the ball onto the top of the stew. It may sink a little.
Simmer uncovered 10-15 minutes, then covered 10-15 minutes, until the dumplings are firm.
Barbara Sanderson is a home economist from Rosetown, Sask., and one of four columnists comprising Team Resources. Send correspondence in care of this newspaper, Box 2500, Saskatoon, Sask., S7K 2C4 or contact them at team@producer.com.
