Q: My mom and dad are on their own and are doing pretty well, but sometimes they need help with banking or picking up a few things from the grocery store. The problem is that I am seven hours away from the village where they live and I cannot always be there.
My husband and I have offered to buy them a condo blocks from our house, but neither Mom nor Dad wants to move.
A: I’m not convinced that moving is within their best interests. Relocating is stressful for anyone, but even more so for the elderly. Moving means leaving behind friends and a familiar setting.
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This moving stress is called relocation stress syndrome or transfer trauma. The more you understand some of the factors involved in your parents’ move, the better you will be able to help them.
If your parents move, they are at risk of depression, confusion, anxiety and insomnia. Most governments are committed to home care or giving people the opportunity to live in their own homes as long as possible. If you are struggling to help your parents meet their daily needs while living at home, you could contact your local health authorities with your parents and sign up for necessary services.
Remember that they are adults and need to be involved in any decisions. Encourage them to ask as many questions as they can before the move and make sure that you acknowledge their concerns and anxieties. Assure them that their personal possessions will be protected and let them take what they can. Once they move, help them acclimatize to the new setting.
