Q: We have just returned from a week with our son and our daughter-in-law, including their three children, and I must admit that I am appalled.
The language that those children use is out of this world. I might expect much the same from a longtime naval officer but not from 10-year-old children.
It does not stop there. All of the children are exceptionally rude to both of their parents and even at times to Grandpa and me. There is not a lot of respect for each other either and that whole attitude spills out of their home and into the school and even the grocery store.
Read Also

A power of attorney document may no longer be enough
Recently, some financial institutions have begun imposing their own internal form of “verification” requirement with respect to powers of attorney.
If I had treated adults the same way when I was a child, I would have had my backside burned more than once.
It seems our grandchildren have no discipline, they practice neither respect for others nor for themselves and they appear to do just as they please and nothing more.
What can we do about this? It is a huge problem, and one that is not limited to just my grandchildren. I see kids in disrespect all over the place.
A: I think that before we get too carried away criticizing young children, we need to look at ourselves.
A very long time ago some of the more profound thinkers of the day, they were called social contract philosophers, argued that the birth of a child was in effect the signing of a contract between the newborn child and the community into which she was welcomed.
The contract said that the community would feed and nurture the child, give it a safe place to eat and sleep, and protect it from harm from wandering predators or even those other guys, the enemy.
In return, the child promised to grow up and commit his life to the overall well-being of the community. It is a simple contract and it should be honoured. But it isn’t.
We are not giving our children the same protection that the social contract law theorists believed they deserved.
In some homes, children sit down for breakfast with some kind of a father figure who is different than was the father figure they met yesterday, and who knows how safe this guy is. Our homes are not always as safe they could be.
Neither are all of our communities. It is so bad in some places that children are not able to walk to and from school without an adult escort to protect them. Many of our children have been abused through text messages on their cellphones.
And in the United States, children are being victimized through an inability to regulate the use of firearms.
Because our children are not always safe, we are not keeping our end of the contract. And in return the children are trying to become more aggressive. Part of that is the rudeness you see in your grandchildren. I am not saying that children are trying to usurp power and control, at least not in any conscious way, but it is clear that they are not comfortable and at least a part of the rudeness you see is an attempt by children to protect themselves.
Our children need to feel safer. I am not too sure how we are going to go about it.
Family instability is a reality in many homes, with either or both parents coming and going, cellphones have woven themselves into the lunch kits of just about any child over the age of 10 and are going to be a continuing instrument for abuse, and apparently guns, even in this country, are somewhat sacred instruments in many households.
These are huge problems. But at least we could start talking about them and sharing any thoughts that might make our communities safer for our children. Maybe then we could keep our end of the contract and tolerate less insensitivity from those very children we expect to assume responsibilities sometime in the near future.