Q: Last summer, my mother passed away. She had been sick for more than two years and succumbed to cancer. My concern now is about my father at Christmas time. Mom and Dad always made a big deal out of Christmas, buying us more presents than we could possibly want and putting together a wonderful feast.
Dad thinks that he will be OK working through this first Christmas without his wife but I am not so sure. What can my sisters and I do to help our dad through the season?
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A: Christmas is likely to be a difficult time for your father, just as will be his first anniversary or first birthday without her.
Those special moments drive home the impact of the loneliness that grieving carries with it.
Your first task is to make sure that you are OK. I think it is great that you are as sensitive as you are for your father but let’s not forget that you lost your mother.
Don’t spend the Christmas holidays mourning your mom but you do need to give yourself the freedom to miss her. Ask for more hugs from your husband and consideration from your children.
When your father sees you are looking after yourself, he will be more likely to follow suit.
Your dad is not likely to complain or feel sorry for himself if he suspects that you are struggling as well. The two of you can learn to support each other and grieve together.
If you share that compassion, chances are good that all of you will be able to have a Christmas season that carries great joy and good will into the lives of your children.
