Q:Our son is graduating from high school and we are happy, proud and excited for him. We understand that high school graduation is a celebration and we want to give our son every opportunity to join it.
The problem is that some families get carried away. They give their kids new cars and sometimes sign over large parts of their farm to the grad. That seems too much. We can afford to be as extravagant as others are, but somehow all of that does not seem right to us. What do you think?
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A:High school graduation is the beginning of new adventures in a young person’s life. Those who dramatize it with overwhelming gifts are treating graduation as an end in itself, as a time when something is finished. But your children will have many reasons to celebrate as they go through life. Some events are more significant than high school graduation and you can always shower them with gifts then.
Your problem is that your son has to deal with his classmates and if you do not demonstrate some signs of generosity, it could be awkward for him. Don’t despair. You can negotiate a more reasonable gift by talking and working with your son.
Things do not have to be expensive to be significant and you may find something he really likes that will not deteriorate over time like a car.
Help for journey ahead
After graduation, the hunt for a job begins. Offer to help your son learn the ins and outs of a job interview to overcome anxiety when facing new situations and people.
The greater his comfort, the better he will perform and the greater are the odds that he will get promotions and more satisfying opportunities.
People often take medication to quell their anxieties. They are struggling with fears of failure, loneliness or the loss of personal significance.
If you can help your son appreciate life’s challenges, set reasonable goals and eliminate anxieties, you will be giving him a grad gift for which he will be forever grateful.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan. Contact: jandrews@producer.com.
