By Jacklin H. Andrews
Q: A few years ago, my daughter and son-in-law adopted a little boy. They had been trying for years to have a child of their own but were unable to do so. You can imagine how excited they were when they were finally able to pick up their little boy from the adoption agency and bring him home.
The sad part is that drug and alcohol addiction by the biological mother may have left our grandson with lifelong disabilities. He may have fetal alcohol syndrome. I am concerned that it is going to commit my daughter and her husband to lifelong caring for their little boy. What if anything, can I do to help this family?
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A: If your grandson is struggling with fetal alcohol syndrome, he needs to have that documented.
All of the provinces have special assistance programs for children struggling with FAS but the children have to have a firm diagnosis to get access to the support they need.
It is a medical condition that must be diagnosed by medical doctors. Your daughter needs to consult her doctor as soon as she can.
FAS is reasonably common in Canada. It is likely that nine babies out of every 1,000 births are struggling with FAS. The harm caused by alcohol during pregnancy can range from severe disabilities to small side-effects.
The followup to your physician’s diagnosis is a complete psychological assessment. The psychologist can identify some of the logical limits under which your grandson may be operating.
If the FAS is severe, they will be able to hopefully work with their local school to make sure that the child is enrolled in a program that is going to work for him.
Indeed, your daughter might as well be prepared for long and enduring discussions with special education consultants in the school. Finding the right program, one that will fit your grandson, is not always easy.
Everyone needs to work together to build the support your grandson may need. Once your grandson has finished school and is looking for his place in the community, we can look to government agencies to help him relocate out of the family home.
Your job in all of this is to love your grandson. FAS kids are sometimes on the short end of social rewards. The more you love him and the more you reward him, the better are his chances for happiness.
