We have no control over if or when we will become a grandparent. The day your child tells you that you will be a grandparent can cause many emotions, but whatever the reaction, it is like receiving the most precious gift.
Like all gifts, we choose how we will enjoy them.
Choosing to participate in your grandchild’s life is a priceless gift, not just for the grandparent, but also for the grandchild and their parents.
Not all family situations allow for close contact between grandparents and grandchildren, with physical distance, family dynamics and health issues some of the obstacles. Whatever the situation, effort on the part of the grandparent is essential to building a relationship.
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Grandparents have a unique opportunity to encourage learning, imagination, and adventure, share family values, history and traditions and love.
Encouraging learning can’t start too soon. Reading, reciting verses and singing songs stimulate the infant’s understanding of words, build a relationship with your voice and stimulate the infant’s brain development. The hugs and cuddles that come with that provide security, stimulation and love.
Imaginary play like dress-up, truck, cars and building toys can provide an opportunity for dialogue between the grandchild and grandparent about what the child is pretending.
Grandma or Grandpa adventure days can be fun-filled one-on-one time with a grandchild, either going for a meal or running errands.
Share family pictures and stories of you or their parents as a child. Talk about your faith and what you value and explain through life experiences why these values are important to you.
Be a role model for your grandchildren and reflect on your favourite memories of your grandparents.
Children naturally love routine so they like to know that Monday night Grandma will be there to babysit and put them to bed.
Building traditions at the lake, on the farm or during special holidays will make memories that your grandchildren will want to pass down to their own children and grandchildren.
Communicating through letters, Skype or phone calls are all ways of building love, encouragement and understanding. It is fun to have your grandchild share their achievements or stories with you, especially when there is a physical distance between you.
A grandparent can also be a gift to the parent. In the stressful, tiring and 24-7 responsibility of parenting, a grandparent can provide time off for the parent or parents. It also provides an opportunity for one-on-one time.
Being a grandparent takes effort, patience, skill and love. It does not mean that the grandparent has free rein to go against the parents’ wishes and rules or shower the grandchildren with gifts and treats.
Parents have the right to raise their child as they choose and a grandparent’s role is to support and encourage parents and grandchildren.
Encourage your grandchildren to respect their parents by respecting their rules and instructions. Breaking them or teaching grandchild to hide information from their parents may result in lack of access.
A monetary inheritance can assist a grandchild with education or a down payment for a home. An emotional inheritance of confidence, family values and love will be far more valued, remembered and treasured.
