I know it has nothing to do with treatment or medical help. Do you know anything about it?
He did not feel sick, and was in many ways very healthy, but he had three tumours growing in his head that were quickly taking control of his destiny.
Each and every moment of the time left became important to him. He planned as much as he could for his few remaining months. He and his wife also put together a book detailing his last days. The book, Chasing Daylight, talks about his perfect moments.
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The idea of the perfect momentis simple. Instead of planning or working towards goals and activities, the objective is to make each moment as meaningful as you can.
O’Kelly wanted to use his time to connect with people who had been the most meaningful to him. Until then, he had spent his life building his company, not devoting as much time to his wife and children as he might have, and taking close friends and associates for granted.
For him, his perfect moments were amendments to his close personal relationships. He said his goodbyes to those people who had been important to him, arranging a time when they could meet to recall how much he appreciated shared experiences. He set up times with his two daughters and spent time drifting on the lake with his wife. They were among his perfect moments.
Each of us has perfect moments but they often go unnoticed. We get distracted by the problems of daily living, worries about the future and regrets for past mistakes.
O’Kelly was able to capture his perfect moments, to escape the anxieties of his hectic life only when he was going to die. The book’s message is that we should make the time to recognize our perfect moments before we are faced with death.
O’Kelly came to believe that our perfect moments are what makes life meaningful.
Perfect moments are everything from a loving smile, a drifting snowflake or the sweet song of the morning meadowlark. We have only to recognize them.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan who has taught social work at two universities. Mail correspondence in care of Western Producer, Box 2500, Saskatoon, Sask., S7K 2C4 or e-mail jandrews@producer.com.
