Q: I am not sure what I should do about my dad. He is a bit out of line these days. Since he and Mom split about four years ago, he has taken to acting like a kid again. He is 52 and dates women who are too young for him, most likely picking them up from the various escort services. He drives whatever hot little car he can find and spends his weekends sitting in noisy bars. That is not the dad I know or the dad I thought would be a grandfather to my children. What can I do to help him settle down, act his age and be there for me and my family.
Read Also
Nutritious pork packed with vitamins, essential minerals
Recipes for pork
A: I think that your dad is probably caught up in mid-life. People handle it differently, but the task for all is always the same.
Mid-life is a time when people come to terms with who they are. Some look at themselves and make remarkable changes.
Sometimes the cranky, demanding father becomes a sensitive, caring grandfather or the quiet woman gets involved in social or political causes and spends hours campaigning to make the world a better place.
People in mid-life are realizing that there will be limitations for them on the road ahead. Most 52-year-old men cannot run and jump with the same dexterity they demonstrated in late adolescence.
To them, mid-life means a loss that they do not like so they spend time trying to deny it. As a consequence, they miss out on opportunities they did not have when they were younger.
You cannot make your dad change. You cannot get him on a track that you would want, but you can listen to him. Allow him to grieve the loss of youth and open himself up to the beauty of life itself.
