Depressed about weight
Q: All the girls in my class wear those short T-shirts and bell-bottomed jeans, but I think they look terrible on me because I’m too fat. It seems like I have been dieting my whole life, but I’ll never be thin enough to wear those fashions. I’m so depressed, but when I’m down I usually end up eating something. Then I hate myself even more. My mom tells me I look great, but of course she would say that, she’s my mom.
A: The most important thing in life is how we feel about ourselves.
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Clothes are only one of the ways we express those feelings. How we feel about our clothes and our body affects how we treat our body, particularly when it comes to eating.
Whether we like it or not, we came into this world with certain givens. We are short, medium or tall. We have blue, brown, grey eyes. We are small-boned or large-boned. We can’t change our height or our bones or our eye color. But we can do something, over time, with proper nutrition and exercise.
We are all different. Some people have to be careful when in the sun because they burn easily. Others, because of their metabolism, have to avoid certain foods because of allergies.
And others need to practise healthy eating and exercise in order to maintain their weight at a comfortable and healthy level. I suspect this is your challenge.
I sense that food affects how you feel about yourself. People often eat to deal with feelings, but their eating doesn’t help them feel or look better. They end up doing what they don’t like themselves for – eating more and gaining more weight.
When people feel down, they tend to avoid doing what is good for them and often do what is bad for them. This seems to happen with your eating. Eating is a futile attempt to feel good about yourself.
So, find other ways to feel good about yourself, particularly that involve fun and a laugh. What can you do to pamper yourself when you feel down, to replace eating? What about a warm shower or bath? What about giving yourself a hug? Don’t laugh. It helps, although you’ll likely want to do it in private.
What about reading some friendship notes to yourself that you’ve written earlier when you felt better? Or even better, what about a good joke book or the latest Archie magazine? The better you treat yourself, and the more you can find humor in the world, the less you’ll be bothered by others, or even by yourself.
Ask for help
If you want practical advice on exercise and eating, talk to the public health nurse or a dietician. They can help you have fun changing your eating and exercise habits, and also help you with the task of accepting what you can’t change your basic bone and body structure. They can tell you what is a reasonable weight range, based on your bone structure and height.
With eating, it’s not so much how much you eat, but what you eat. We all need some fat in our diet, but junk foods, particularly fries, have way more fat than we need. Exercise is helpful, providing you don’t become a slave to it and overly exhaust yourself. Regular walking or exercise routines, such as sit-ups or stomach crunches can help trim one’s tummy, which is one place we tend to immediately focus on, especially when it comes to clothes.
I know. I had a 28-inch waist when I was young. When buying my latest suit, I added one number, but to the 2, not the 8.
Of course your mom loves you. The best way you can show that love back is by focusing on loving yourself. But if eating or not eating is related to feeling worthy as a person, do something about it.
But do so after consulting a health professional.
