Stuck out on the farm
Q: I am 14 years old and live on a farm. Most of my friends live in town. It always seems like I’m left out of whatever they are doing after school and on weekends.
Mom and Dad say they can’t always be my chauffeur because they’re so busy, so I miss out on after-school sports, hanging out with the guys and going to parties. I’m stuck at home instead. I can’t get my driver’s licence for another two years. I’m going crazy.
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A: The situation may feel impossible, but it’s not. Try some creative negotiating with your folks. Could you get permission to stay over with a friend in town, perhaps every third weekend?
You could offer to help out your friend or his family with their household chores as a way of “paying your way.” You’ll also likely need to offer to do extra things at home during the week as someone else has to do your home chores when you are away.
Also, check out the possibility of getting lifts from other people who live out your way when you want to get to town. This will take pressure off your folks.
But don’t expect miracles to occur. Your parents have limits on how much they can do, particularly with driving. They need their own rest and recreation as well. Broaden your horizons. Look at things you can get involved in that you can do from home, such as phoning friends, writing to penpals or reading. Home doesn’t have to feel like a prison.
Working to get part of what you want, rather than feeling bad about what you are not able to get, helps you feel better about yourself. You likely can’t go to everything you want to, so choose carefully. Focus on those things you really enjoy and do your best to get to them. That way you’ll be able to focus better on enjoyment instead of disappointment.
