Using jam or marmalade
When you want to say something to someone, you can say it in one of two ways.
You can choose to be brief and to the point. You can use simple words that others understand. And you can stick to one point at a time. If you do this, you are communicating with jam.
You can also choose to be wordy and windy. You can use the most complicated words you can think of. This is often done in an attempt to persuade the other person that you know a great deal, or at least that you think you do.
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Often, the more complicated a way someone says something, the less they really know about it. You can wander off the topic and bring in all sorts of things that have nothing to do with what you are trying to say. If you do that, you are communicating with marmalade, and likely not getting your point across.
It doesn’t really matter how fancy you communicate with others. What really counts is whether they understand what you are saying. And if they don’t, you are wasting your time.
One of my colleagues presented the jam and marmalade images to me last week. I was co-leading a workshop with her. And whenever she thought I was getting overly complicated in what I was saying, she would say marmalade and I immediately got the message.
It is easy to try to impress others with fancy words. You can find this happening in universities, with some professionals, and especially with politicians and bureaucrats. Look at any politician’s speech or a press release from any government official and you will immediately notice all the marmalade.
When I work with men, I don’t get anywhere unless I recognize they only relate well to jam, not marmalade. If I were to pick up a garden shovel and tell a man that it was a manually operated earth-transmittal device, either he wouldn’t understand a word I was saying, or he’d laugh at me.
However, if I were to say, “This is a spade,” he’d understand exactly what I meant.
You can easily discover if you are a jam or marmalade person. Just listen to what you say when you start to explain something. How would you react if someone else spoke to you that way? Would the message become clearer, or would it become more confused? If you find you have a lot of marmalade in your vocabulary, try some of the following ideas:
- Think before you speak. I guarantee your communication skills will improve.
- Ask yourself if you know exactly what each word you plan to use means. If not, don’t use it.
- Speak in short sentences, rather than rambling on.
- Try to find shorter and simpler words to describe the things you are talking about.
