Is it parsnip or crocus love?
Love is something we all experience in life and often in different ways. Some people experience love at first sight. That’s fine, if felt both ways. If not, it leads to sadness or disappointment.
For others, love is a growing or evolving experience. They build a friendship first, and romance or love develops later. Instead of pushing something to happen, they let it happen.
Love at first sight is like the life cycle of a crocus. These flowers are impatient in the spring. They bounce up out of the ground at the first chance. They shoot up and show their glory. Their appearance is exciting and pleasant. But they don’t last forever. If “crocus” love feelings aren’t nurtured and treated tenderly, they don’t last. They die back or disappear.
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“Growing love” is like a parsnip. It takes a long time for a parsnip seed to germinate. You don’t see anything at first. The seed just sits there. Nothing seems to happen. And even after it sprouts, it seems to take forever to grow. But once it is grown, it is well planted in the ground with deep roots. And as gardeners know, it takes a lot of energy to unearth those roots.
We all likely have, and need, a mixture of crocus and parsnip experiences in our love relationships. We need to recognize and respect them both.
We need unexpected and exciting aspects in our love relationship. Little but important acts of attention and appreciation foster good feelings. An unexpected kiss or gift, making coffee for your partner in the morning, flowers bought for no special reason or doing something around the house without being asked can all cause love feelings to spring up again, like a crocus.
But love can’t survive on excitement alone. It needs the stability and strength of a parsnip. This develops when we are consistent in how we treat our partner, also when we just relax and enjoy our partner’s presence. These skills don’t come naturally. They must be cultivated and grown over a lengthy period of time, just like the parsnip.
You don’t learn overnight to listen well, hold back criticism or to be considerate. You have to learn it and do it over and over until it comes naturally. You must keep growing, like a parsnip, if you want your relationship to grow.
Crocus relationships seldom take time to learn about themselves. They are too busy having fun. Parsnip relationships realize a marriage is a life-long education course. They take time to talk, read and practise positive ideas for relationships.
I will send readers a list of some recommended “parsnip” books if they send me a self-addressed, stamped envelope, c/o The Western Producer, Box 2500, Saskatoon, Sask. S7K 2C4.
