How families do Christmas
Soon most people will be spending Christmas Day with family members. But which family members will it be?
The decision about who goes where can create unnecessary tension among family members.
A recent TV commercial about long distance phoning, where everyone arrives at grandma’s, thinking she said “come home” when she said “call home” may seem funny. But the tension that can develop in families because of conflicts over Christmas holiday plans is far from funny.
The “home for Christmas” problem becomes acute once you are married and have two sets of parents and relatives to please. You soon discover the true meaning of the old expression “you can’t please everyone all the time.”
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Some families alternate. Some families consider the health of other family members and try to make it easier for those who find it hard to travel. But once you have children of your own, you are faced with balancing the need for close family time with your partner and children with extended family get-togethers. And there is no easy answer. The kids want their private time at home, but also want to see grandma and grandpa, who are more than eager to see them.
Christmas at home is sometimes replaced by Christmas at a resort, partly because it is cold on the Prairies in December and partly because that is the only time that some people get more than a week off between September and June.
Our family tried a Florida Christmas holiday about 10 years ago. It was nice in some ways, but lonely in others. We talked with our families on Christmas Day. I chatted with my mother, who lived in Vancouver, from a pay phone on Miami beach.
Some families may need a change of pace for Christmas. Other relatives need to consider and respect this. But people don’t have the right to pressure other family members to go along with their ideas. Yes, there is a lot of comfort and security in the traditional family Christmas get-together. And that is what the Griffiths family is having this year. But if one branch of the family wants to spend Christmas on the beach, while others want to go tobogganing, each group needs to respect the wishes of the other.
Whatever you do for Christmas, you need to feel comfortable with it. My mother enjoyed my phone call from Florida, but she would have been uncomfortable with a warm Christmas day.
With modern telecommunications, there’s no reason different parts of the family can’t be in touch with each other, regardless of where they spend Christmas.
