Avoid static communication
Do you like having to repeat yourself? When you ask someone to repeat what they said, sometimes you hear that extra tension in their voice. Yet having to repeat or to ask someone else to repeat, likely happens a great deal and will continue to happen until the individual learns ways to avoid it.
My car has a motorized antenna for the radio. When I first turn on the radio, I get a lot of static until the antenna is fully extended. I can’t make out a word of what is being said. But what was garbled a moment ago becomes clear once the antenna is fully operational.
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The antennae we use for listening are our ears. But if our mind is on something else or we are absent-minded, that connection may be faulty at first, just like my car’s antenna.
It takes a few seconds for our mental antenna to start to work as well. If something is told to us, before we are in an active listening state, either we don’t hear what was said or we misinterpret it.
Most arguments that arise between people develop because one person did not hear what was said or didn’t understand it. They may not have even realized the message was intended for them.
And how does the other person react? Common responses are, “You don’t care,” “You never listen” or “What’s the use in trying to talk to you?”
The person who was trying to communicate often assumes that the other person doesn’t want to listen to what he or she was trying to say.
That usually results in an argument. Anger, hurt, resentment and hard feelings are shared, not the original message the person wanted to send.
Sometimes, people choose not to communicate, or to ignore what another person is saying. Unless they choose to change, they are going to be poor communicators. And they likely won’t succeed at long-term, caring relationships.
But more often, people don’t hear or understand what was said to them. They may appear to be uncaring when they aren’t. They are just poor communicators.
You can get rid of static in your communication in two ways. Call out the name of the person you want to talk to. Then, wait until they let you know that they have heard before you try to communicate anything. If their antenna is not up, you’re wasting your efforts.
The second way is to ask them to tell you what they heard you saying. People have to hear you with both their ears and their minds. You check out the first by calling out their name and waiting for a response. You check out if what they thought you said is what you meant to say.
Ask them to tell you what they think your message was. They may not always get your message the first time you send it. They may misinterpret your words.
Words may have several meanings. Their mind may be somewhere else at that moment. Or, if your phrases and words don’t fit their personal experiences, they may miss hearing the full meaning and intent behind your words.
Nobody enjoys it when they can’t get their point across. Most of us feel irritated and annoyed, and we often transmit those feelings to the other person, which may cause them to back away from us. This makes communication even harder.
