Q: We just bought a new computer and got hooked up to the internet. Our kids, 15 and 12, want to be on it all the time. They are always fighting over it. I am also concerned about the chat rooms they like to be on. What sort of family guidelines should we set so that everyone gets to use it, and in an appropriate manner?
A: Parents have the right and responsibility to supervise their children’s activities and to judge what is appropriate for them at different ages. There is no magic answer for this problem, unless you resort to locking the computer in a room, which in most homes is unreasonable. And a few computers come with an on-off key like televisions sets have in Europe.
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Families with young children are hesitant to get on to the internet because of pornographic and violent material. You can subscribe to various screening services that block pornographic websites, but I am not sure if the same exists for violent sites, such as instructions for making bombs.
Suggestions
Here are some tactics for dealing with children and computers.
- Have a family logbook that monitors the amount of time each person spends on the computer. It can also act as a pre-booking method, which may reduce sibling rivalry. Out of fairness, adults should log on and off as well.
- Chores and homework come first, before the computer is used.
- Get the children to note whether they are researching school work, playing games or just having fun with pen pals on the chat sites. Used properly, the internet can be useful for doing school projects and assignments. It’s also great for playing skill games like chess with people from all over the world.
- Extra computer time might be an appropriate reward if parents decide to acknowledge a child’s effort at school.
- Have the same rules for chat-line contacts as you would have for any other young people they might meet in their community. Insist that they consult with you before they give out phone numbers or addresses. For their protection, you may insist that first-time face-to-face meetings with internet contacts happen at home with a parent present.
- Kids can get carried away with computer games. Since the more complicated ones usually need to be installed on your computer, you can easily ration each child to only one or two. It will free up computer space and force them to choose more carefully.
- If you worry your kids are breaking rules, most computers allow you to check on the half dozen most recent programs and websites contacted.
