Q: I have just found out that a friend of mine may be married to a pedophile. The man spent six months in jail for molesting his 12-year-old daughter from a previous marriage. Do you know what causes people to be this way, and is there any cure or treatment available so he does not do this again?
A: This must be very upsetting for your friend, as this situation quite often leads to divorce, especially if she has children.
She needs to first try and determine which kind of pedophile he is, as there are two main types. Some men are fond of children and have difficulty separating their emotional feelings from their physical ones. In other words, they have trouble differentiating between love and sex. These men do not usually abuse young children, as it is only when the girls start puberty that the men have difficulties with the relationship.
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Men living in isolated families in rural communities, with few friends or outside interests, are more likely to get inappropriately involved with their daughters. Sometimes it starts with the eldest girl and then works its way down to the younger girls as they mature. Alcohol may also be a factor, as it breaks down normal taboo barriers. These men may be helped by psychotherapy and marriage or family counseling. They can learn to separate their feelings of love from sex.
The second, more dangerous form of pedophilia occurs in men who have little or no conscience, and who get a kick out of having sex with young girls or boys. They are on a power trip. In other words, they have psychopathic personalities. Quite young children can be the victims, and these are the type of men who hang around school playgrounds or work in occupations where they have easy access to many kids. They may exhibit sexual behaviour toward their own children or stepchildren, but they do not stop there. They may have literally hundreds of victims.
Psychopathic individuals are more likely to use drugs or alcohol, and also be dishonest or criminal in other areas of life. They are good liars and can often appear quite charming. There is no treatment for these people, although various forms of group and aversion therapies have been tried.
One study showed that pedophiles who received treatment in jail were more likely to go out and reoffend than those who had none. The researcher speculated that the treated group had merely learned to “play the game” better, so that they could get out on an earlier parole.
