The moment you become a parent, you automatically give your own parents a new position. You make them grandparents. Strong connections among the generations will surround your child with the security of belonging to an extended family. How your family defines the grandparent role will depend on your circumstances.
Grandparents are important family members and resources to parents, children and the community. They’re concerned about their grandchildren and would like to better understand how they can help children develop to their fullest potential.
Grandparents vary in how involved they want to become. Some can hardly wait to have grandchildren, looking forward to spending time with little ones. Some are so eager you may have to set limits.
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Others keep their distance, not wanting to be involved in or interfere with child rearing. Make the most of whatever interest your parents show, recognizing that the situation may change over time.
Grandparents can play an active role and stimulate a child’s development in these ways.
Language development
- Singing – Soothing and comforting traditional songs, lullabies and hymns help build an appreciation of the texture and cadence of music.
- Poems and stories encourage a sense of rhythm and rhyme when accompanied by eye contact, smiles, gestures and sound effects.
- Reading – An early introduction to the wonderful, magical world of books is one of the greatest gifts that can be given to any child, even as a baby.
Cultural-social development
- Sharing family history, traditions, language, culture, music, dance and stories broadens any child’s horizons and early development.
Self-esteem
- Listening – When children get the sense they are being listened to, they will feel valued.
- Hugging and cuddling – Appropriate physical contact helps children develop confidence and good feelings about who they are, and can affect brain development.
- Smiling shows how much you appreciate the child and care for them.
General development
- Games of all kinds can be of enormous value. Games help the young child to develop small motor skills, reasoning and logic, and spatial relations.
Many grandparents are still in the workforce, are active retirees with busy lives, have health concerns or live a long distance away. When you respect your parents’ limits, the grandparent-grandchild connection can grow without resentments.
Here are some suggestions for keeping a long-distance relationship healthy.
- Use the mail to exchange photos, drawings and short notes.
- Write often, even if it’s only a few sentences on a postcard.
- Telephone from time to time, encouraging the youngsters to “say a few words” to grandparents.
- Keep your parents informed about your child’s interests (school, sports, books and favorite TV programs) so they have something to talk about.
- Send audiotapes of your children talking and singing.
- Get grandparents to tape themselves reading a story from a library book you suggest. When you play the tape, borrow the same book and turn the pages as you listen with your child.
- Ask your parents to tape stories about when you were little, or memories of their own childhood. Can they remember any songs they sang to you as a baby?
The quality of your children’s relationship with your parents will depend on your own relationship with them. Having a child can bring you closer, since you share the experience of being a parent. On the other hand, if you have different views about how to bring up children, this could give rise to friction between you and your parents.
Open communication is the key to working out these differences. You all probably have the best interests of the children at heart, even if you don’t agree on the best way to achieve them. If you continue to disagree, keep your children out of the conflict. Let them make their own relationship with your parents, unburdened by your complaints.
Children benefit from widening the circle of caring adults who will continue to be present in their lives. Contact with grandparents exposes them to different environments and to points of view based on a long experience of life. If one parent is absent, a grandparent can provide a missing gender role model.
Older people also gain from getting to know their grandchildren. They build links forward to the future and continue contributing to their family.
As a parent in the middle, you will gain from supporting and encouraging these enriching intergenerational connections.
For more information on early child development programs, contact the Canadian Institute of Child Health, 512-885 Meadowlands Drive, Ottawa, Ont., K2C 3N2; phone 613-224-4414, fax 613-224-4145 or e-mail cich@igs.net or check out the website at www.cich.ca.
Turkey time
With Thanksgiving coming up next week, turkey talk is timely. In addition to being a leader in the lean meat class, turkey is an excellent source of protein, providing the essential amino acids necessary for the renewal and maintenance of body tissues and providing food energy.
Turkey is also an excellent source of niacin, a factor in the maintenance of good health, and a good source of phosphorus, a factor in the normal development of bones and teeth.
If you are having a small group for Thanksgiving dinner, you may not want to cook a big bird. Try the following recipe.
Roast turkey breast with spinach stuffing
Stuffing:
3 slices whole wheat or 3
white bread, broken up
1Ú3 cup chicken stock, 75 mL
hot
2 tsp. vegetable oil 10 mL
1 small onion, finely 1
chopped
2 cloves garlic, finely 2
chopped
11Ú2 lb. fresh spinach, 750 g
cooked and chopped
1 egg white 1
1Ú2 tsp. salt 2 mL
1Ú2 tsp. pepper 2 mL
1Ú4 tsp. grated nutmeg 1 mL
Turkey:
1 2-pound boneless, 1 kg
skinless turkey breast, opened and flattened
1 tbsp. 15 mL
vegetable oil
2 onions, thickly sliced 2
1 head garlic cloves, 1
peeled but left whole
2 tbsp. chopped 25 mL
fresh rosemary
(or 1Ú2 tsp./2 mL dried)
pinch salt
pinch pepper
1 cup dry white wine 250 mL
or chicken stock
To prepare stuffing, place bread in large bowl and cover with 1Ú3 cup (75 mL) hot chicken stock. Allow to rest for 10 minutes.
Heat oil in large non-stick skillet. Add onion and garlic. Cook gently until tender. Add to bread.
Squeeze excess water from spinach and add to bread. In small bowl, combine egg white, salt, pepper and nutmeg. Add to bread and combine well. Flatten turkey breast to an even thickness with a meat mallet. Spread the stuffing on the turkey breast. Roll up and tie with string.
Heat one tablespoon (15 mL) oil in roasting pan. Add turkey and brown all over. Add sliced onions, whole garlic cloves and rosemary. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Add wine.
Roast turkey, uncovered, in preheated 400 F (200 C) oven for 30-40 minutes. Allow roast to rest for 10 minutes before carving. Makes six to eight servings.
This recipe is from More Heart Smart Cooking by Bonnie Stern, published by Random House of Canada.
For more information, check the Manitoba Turkey Producers, www.
turkey.mb.ca.
Quick meals
Harvest is a little early in this area, and we have been doing some custom combining. Coming up with different ideas for meals that transport easily to the field is always a challenge. Other farm women have mentioned this to me, so I’m requesting you send an old standby recipe that you like to take to the field.
