Q: Things are pretty rough around our house. All three kids can become rude and obnoxious with each other, disobeying our rules and generally defying what we are trying to encourage them to do. We are running out of punishments. The kids have had their cellphones taken away on occasion, have been kicked off our family computer and grounded throughout the week. None of it works. Life continues to be stressful.
You can bet that the turmoil is having a terrible impact on my relationship with my husband. Both of us are tense and seldom do we get a moment to enjoy each other. What can we do to break the cycle?
Read Also
Stock dogs show off herding skills at Ag in Motion
Stock dogs draw a crowd at Ag in Motion. Border collies and other herding breeds are well known for the work they do on the farm.
A: I have talked many times about the need for structure and routine in any home and how important that is to the well-being of the children.
Complementing whatever structure you have in your home should be a climate of love and acceptance. My guess is that words of praise are few and far between.
Chances are good that the kids will compete for your attention and push each other away to pick up a few hugs and words of praise from you or reject whatever overtures you make to them. It can be discouraging.
To open the door for a more positive setting in your home, begin with your relationship with your husband. You and he need to rise above the turmoil and reaffirm your adoration for each other. Perhaps the two of you could go for a quiet walk together each night.
At the some point, the children might want to join the nightly escapade with you. As long as they are kind and generous with you and with each other during the walks, they should be welcome to do so.
That positive time you cultivate during your walks comes through the door when you return home.
It takes time, a lot of patience and a great deal of determination but the end product, a home that is a place where you and your children have a climate in which you value and care for each other, is certainly worth the effort.
