Q:One of my neighbours appears to be obsessed with my wife. When we are out socially, he will follow her around. If he and I are alone, he will tell me that he is more capable of being a man to my wife than I am. Once, he propositioned my wife. This is getting out of hand but I am not sure what to do about it. He is a regular attendee at the Catholic church. Maybe I should speak to his priest. What do you think?
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A:You need to understand that your first and most important responsibility is to protect your wife within the parameters of our legal framework.
Our judicial system protects men and women from both sexual harassment and personal stalking. Talk to the local RCMP. Your neighbour may be breaking both laws and could be doing so with other families.
You and your wife can also protect each other by avoiding him. When you end up at the same place, you need to work together, stand arm in arm or hold hands, and never let each other out of sight.
You can speak to the priest if you like but don’t expect too much from him. Your neighbour is likely obsessed, either with your wife or human sexuality. He is not going to be easily dissuaded from his obsessions.
The best protection you and your wife can offer to each other is found within the strength of your marriage. Maybe the two of you need to take a few moments regularly to remind yourselves of your lifelong commitment. Let it be known in quiet ways that you are proud to be together.
In doing so, you are taking the discomfort your neighbour is causing you and turning it into an opportunity to add more strength to your marriage.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan. Contact: jandrews@producer.com.
