Q: The other day my 17-year-old daughter became somewhat hysterical when I refused to replace her cellphone that she had lost. That bothered me. She was more like an alcoholic craving a drink than the sensible young lady she usually is.
I think that she is addicted to her cellphone. Is there anything that I can do about it?
A: Thank you for your acute observation. I have no doubt that many people have turned their cell- phones from useful and wonderful tools to addictions. Their phones have control over them, interfering with their daily responsibilities and sometimes risking their lives when they are driving while talking.
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I am not aware of any programs to help people who are
addicted to their cell- phones but maybe the time has come for schools, churches and other community groups to consider developing them.
The most likely model to follow for cellphone addiction is similar to that used by AA for recovering alcoholics. It begins by admitting that the influence from the cellphone is too powerful, that the addict is victimized by it and controlled by it. Ask your daughter whether she is in control of her cellphone or whether it is in control of her. She will likely deny that she is at the mercy of her phone, but if enough people ask the question, maybe those who are most vulnerable, including your daughter, will start to admit to their addiction and do something about it.
The next question to explore is the damage your daughter’s cellphone has caused in her life. I see people reacting to their cellphones in public places, interrupting meetings to talk on them and phones ringing in movie theatres, classrooms and churches. I see cellphones dis-turbing people who are having personal and meaningful conver-sations with each other, and I see
cellphones, mostly through their text messages, invading peoples’ psychological beings, sometimes with horrible messages.
Your daughter needs to be aware of the damage her cellphone has caused herself and others. Her hysterical reaction to the loss of her phone hurt her relationship with you.
Finally, the question is what is your daughter going to do about it? How is she going to learn that she does not have to react every time her phone rings?
I like my cellphone. It makes driving plans safer, it keeps me in touch with my wife and family when any one of us is away, and it can be fun to chat on it when life is a bit boring.
But like anything, too much of a good thing can be a problem. I have to learn to control it, just as you and your daughter do.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan who has taught social work at two universities. Mail correspondence in care of Western Producer, Box 2500, Saskatoon, Sask., S7K 2C4 or e-mail jandrews@producer.com.
