One of our readers is curious about on-line counselling, wondering whether a website can be found with a bias toward farm families and the agriculture economy. So far, I have not been able to find one. If you know of an on-line site, send a note to me.
I don’t know much about on-line counselling, but it is worth exploring. If it works, it can be a great resource for those families living far from town.
A number of on-line programs are directed toward women living in abusive homes. Many do not know how to escape, what community resources they can contact to support them if they leave and what their legal rights are.
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Counselling often involves more than giving advice to people living in distress. People in trouble usually know what they could be doing to resolve their difficulties. The problem is that they do not do it.
Just as people who cough too much know that quitting smoking would help, or people who weigh too much know they could diet, so could people having emotional problems learn to relax.
They could reduce high expectations they have for themselves and for their families and express themselves more clearly. But they don’t.
To resolve personal difficulties, people usually have to make changes to their habits, and that is what is so difficult. This is where personal counselling can be helpful. Good counsellors are, first and foremost, good listeners.
They hear your stories without judging you. They recognize the intrinsic value of the contributions you might be making toward your own well being. They understand and support you as you try to do things differently, and they are there to encourage as you stumble through the process of breaking harmful habits.
I am not sure that on-line counselling can give a person in distress the same support as a personal counsellor. Computers are great for sending messages, but they fall short when they try to hear your story.
Neither can they appreciate the strength and power of the loneliness people feel when life’s problems are overwhelming. That is the exclusive domain of personal counselling, and this is what makes it so effective.
Jacklin Andrews is a family counsellor from Saskatchewan who has taught social work at two universities. Mail correspondence in care of Western Producer, Box 2500, Saskatoon, Sask., S7K 2C4 or e-mail jandrews@producer.com.
